


They're the Same Everywhere

by xxMad_Donaxx



Series: A Long Hard Road [1]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types
Genre: Addiction, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Blackmail, Double Anal Penetration, Dubious Consent, Gang Rape, Humiliation, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Name-Calling, beastiality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-09
Updated: 2015-02-28
Packaged: 2018-03-11 09:28:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 19
Words: 26,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3322373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxMad_Donaxx/pseuds/xxMad_Donaxx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Templar who knows too much about him and Hawke blackmails Anders for sexual favors. Hawke's continued freedom and sanity rests solely on Anders' shoulders. Unable to figure out who holds their secrets Anders silently endures. Help comes from the most unexpected source.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I know. I should be working on something else. Life has been rough however and I need to channel my negativity and despair somewhere. Sorry Anders. =(
> 
> I'm not sure how graphic this is going to get but it's likely going to include some not very popular kinks. Tags will be added later depending on how many I manage to fit in.

Anders froze at the knock on his clinic doors, his hand stretched out to grab his staff where it leaned against the wall. It wasn’t the frantic knocking of a frightened person fearing for a loved one or the lethargic knocking of someone barely able to remain standing. It wasn’t Hawke, who he’d been expecting. There were always two short raps and he barged in if the doors were unlocked whether or not Anders had answered him. This knock, three measured raps with a count of two between each, sent shivers down his spine and Justice raging in his head.

Swallowing hard he left his staff where it was and headed for the door, trying to keep a tight rein on the spirit. He flung open the door and found exactly who he suspected on the other side, dismayed at the two hooded figures behind him. The Templar was also hooded but Anders recognized the red cloak he always wore and the beaky nose sticking out. There was a bald head under that hood, a long clean shaven face, with small close set eyes the color of dog shit. His fuzzy brown eyebrows resembled dead caterpillars. The thick patch of coarse hair surrounding his dick, an area he was altogether too acquainted with, was a match in color and always reminded him of a rat’s nest he’d seen once.

“You’re not supposed to be here,” Anders said firmly blocking the doorway with his body.

“The price is going up,” he said pleasantly. “You’re my favorite little slut and the boys here have earned a treat.”

“No,” said Anders. “Once a month. That was the deal.”

“I’m changing the deal,” he said sounding far less pleasant. “Twice a month or your friend gets to be a Templar’s bitch in The Gallows. They aren’t half as nice as I am.”

Anders pursed his lips and stood aside. What else could he do? Hawke was blissfully unaware of how close he was to being caught. This Templar had known far too much about both of them. He wasn’t sure exactly how he had found either of them out but he’d showed up at the clinic one night nearly six months ago and offered him a deal. Anders would be his whore once a month, servicing him and anyone else he brought with, enthusiastically and without complaint. If he didn’t Hawke would be made Tranquil and become a cock sleeve for any Templar in the Gallows who just wanted a hole to fuck. Anders would be executed. With no one to help him find out how this man knew their secrets and who else held them Anders had agreed.

“You’ll enjoy my little whore, boys,” he said smugly as he strolled casually in. “His arse is nice and tight and he moans beautifully.”

He felt a flush heat his cheeks as he closed the door behind them, throwing the lock on both. Anders followed the Templars to the back of the clinic working on the buckles of his coat, head down.

“So,” said his tormenter. “How do you want him? Bent over the desk? Up against the wall? On his hands and knees like a proper dog?”

“Think your bitch can handle both of us at the same time?” one of the hooded figures asked eagerly.

“Of course he can. He loves being full of Templar cock.”

Anders grimaced and pulled at his clothes more quickly.

“You should fill is mouth Red,” said the other one. “We can fill up your slut right proper.”

“And he’ll love every moment. Won’t you my cock loving whore?”

“Yes Ser,” said Anders forcing himself to sound excited.

When he was completely naked one of the faceless Templars was lying on a cot, knees hanging over the edge with his feet flat on the floor. Only his package was bare, his trousers unlaced and pushed to the sides. The other unknown Templar stood nearby, his privates in a similar state of undress. Anders grabbed a couple of lyrium potions from his carefully hoarded stash, cursing internally at how little he had. Red never allowed him to use oil. It was a lyrium potion or an elfroot potion if there were no lyrium ones. He’d tried claiming that he had none once but the Templar had sniffed them out like a bloodhound. Anders hadn’t tried again. That night was more humiliating than any of the others had been.

He slicked them up and positioned himself over the lying Templar, lining his cock up and sinking down quickly. The other wasted no time in shoving his prick in as well. Anders did his best to disguise the pained moan for one of pleasure. Without waiting for his body to adjust Anders began rocking on their cocks, gasping and moaning like it was the most wonderful thing he’d ever experienced. When Red knelt over his friend Anders took his cock without a hitch in rhythm. He shut out their degrading praise and concentrated on getting it over with as soon as possible.

They came in rapid succession. Anders knelt on the floor of his clinic doing his best to ignore the fluids dripping from his arse. As always Red patted his head, the others a short distance away. “What do good little sluts say?” Red said gesturing his voice falsely sweet.

“Thank you Ser,” said Anders forcing himself to sound calm. His fists balled tightly where they rested on his knees, gaze aimed at the floor between them.

“Good boy,” Red sneered patting his head again. “See you on the first.”

“I look forward to it,” he said through gritted teeth.

Justice was a ball of furious indignation, wanting retribution for the humiliating things he was forced to endure. Anders wanted nothing more than to let Justice have it but until he could figure out what third party was holding written copies of their secrets he would do nothing. If it was just his own life at stake he would have killed Red long before now. He wouldn’t gamble with Hawke’s very being however.

Their murmuring grew father away. Anders didn’t move until he heard the door open, listening to derisive laughter as they walked out. He walked as quickly as he could across the clinic to shut the door they’d left open. After it was bolted he stood there for a moment pressing his forehead to the rough wood, wishing that he had time for a hot bath. There wasn’t however. It was a miracle Hawke hadn’t shown up already.

Anders grabbed a rag on his way to the water pump. He soaked the rag and squatted down next to it, cleaning himself off as quickly as he could. Even though he was in a hurry Anders went to his shelves and pulled out a bottle of whisky from the back. He took a few deep swallows and grimaced at the burn in his throat. The lyrium potion Red insisted on using always made him feel jittery afterwards. Normally he would have sat in a hot bath until it passed. With Hawke due any moment alcohol was as good an excuse as any.

He dug through his clothes for a clean pair of smalls and another clean rag. The rag was carefully folded and placed over his hole to hopefully catch anything that seeped out later. Anders was mostly dressed when he heard the two short bangs on his door he’d been expecting earlier. The knob rattled and he heard Hawke’s muffled voice through it as he hurried over.

“Anders?”

“Hello Hawke,” Anders said with false cheer as the door swung open. He immediately scowled at his least favorite person glaring at him from over Hawke’s shoulder.

“Sorry I’m late,” Hawke said in a rush. “Aveline had some last minute thing and I had to find Fenris.”

“It’s all right,” said Anders turning away. “Gave me time to clean up. My last patient was violently ill. Let me get my boots and I’ll be ready.”

They followed him into the room and watched as he sat gingerly to pull on his boots. Neither mentioned his shaking hands and he hoped neither had noticed the grimace as he stood. There was no major physical damage to his arse but he was now starting to feel sore as well as jittery. He followed Hawke and Fenris quietly to Lowtown, his hands shoved deep into his pockets to hide their shaking. With Varric now walking beside him he focused on acting normal as they headed to the docks.

He didn’t notice Fenris watching him more than usual as they confronted the gangs.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgot to mention this earlier, this happens in the three year gap between Acts I and II.
> 
> Please heed the tags. I'm not going to bother with warnings at the beginning of each chapter.

The first of the month came around quicker than Anders liked. So far his efforts to find this mysterious third party had still been fruitless. He closed the clinic early and paced the length of it waiting. Eventually he stripped to his small clothes and sat on a cot towards the front, a few lyruim potions close at hand.

“Good evening,” Red said cheerfully as he strolled in. “You’re going to be a busy little slut tonight. I’ve got lots of nice Templar cock lined up and a surprise for you that I know I’ll like.”

“Thank you Ser,” said Anders barely managing to sound grateful.

He pushed down his small clothes and crawled up onto one of the cots. The night was going to be long. A series of his buddies would arrive at intervals and each of them would do their best to pound him into the cot. The last time Red had arranged a gang bang Anders couldn’t help getting hard and coming from sheer overstimulation. If it hadn’t been for the hint of something worse he wouldn’t be quite so nervous.

Red would have him first of course. He liked Anders to be fresh and tight. Whoever was at the end must not mind a loose and sloppy fuck, as he would no doubt be by the end. On his hands and knees gripping the edges of the cot tightly, Red wasted no time pushing his prick in. Anders pushed back against him and moaned like a wanton whore. A few minutes after the first load of spend was shot into him, the parade began.

Anders lost track of how many hands had held his hips. There were thick cocks and long cocks. He was taken hard and fast, slow, steady and everything in between. After a while he ended up panting with his forehead pressed to the cot as he was pounded, unable to keep up the illusion that he liked this. There were a lot more cocks this time than what he remembered last time. His own cock slapped stiffly against his stomach, the tension building even though he didn’t want it to. It wasn’t until he was visibly trembling from the four lyruim potions that had ended up coating his passage that he finally got a break.

“Sit up slut,” Red ordered.

Wearily Anders pushed himself to his knees and wrapped his shaking arms around himself. Justice was disturbingly quiet. He didn’t have the energy to fight Red as he pulled up his eyelids one after the other. Anders didn’t like the smug smile his observations produced.

“Very good. Your asshole is nice and loose. Your passenger is sufficiently sedated. It’s time for your surprise. Hands and knees on the floor Fereldan bitch.”

He was almost too tired to be alarmed at the sudden change from cheerful and pleasant to hard and commanding. Anders wasn’t quick about it but he followed orders, his arms trembling so badly he could barely hold himself up. Red pulled a blanket off one of the cots and disappeared behind him.

“I try to be a nice guy,” he said conversationally. “I make the rules you follow them. That’s how it goes.” He draped the blanket over Anders’ neck and pulled the ends tight under his arms. “Last time… you didn’t follow the rules.” The ends were pulled tight over his back and Red tugged at the blanket over his neck. “You gave up the right to say no. If I want your arse a little more often I’ll take it. You’re my whore and you will take as many cocks as I want you too.”

Red tugged on the strange harness he’d created and made a satisfied noise. Anders looked tiredly up at him when he came around front. His expression was hard and serious.

“Yes Ser,” Anders said slurring slightly.

“One more cock. If I hear that word once the deals off. I will leave your body just like this for your friend to find then he’ll spend the rest of his days in the Gallows.”

“Yes Ser.”

He grinned and patted Anders’ head. “Such a good little bitch. Dozer likes good little bitches.” After a few seconds Anders felt something wet splatter his lower back. “Just a little incentive for Dozer to mount. Tranquil can do miracles with potions.”

Anders stomach lurched and he looked up at Red in horror. The Templar had his hood down, the cloak hooked around the scabbard of his sword. Red smirked and stepped back hand on the hilt and ready to draw, waiting for him to say the word. Anders clamped his mouth shut and closed his eyes, fixing an image of Hawke in his mind. The wet snuffling at his backside still made him jump.

His arms shook harder but he tried to hold perfectly still. He thought of Hawke, his dazzling smile and his warm brown eyes. The horrible but sort of endearing flirts, his kindness to absolutely everyone, the sympathy and trust he’d shown an abomination that clearly didn’t deserve either right after they’d met. Hawke was the best and brightest example of an apostate Anders had ever seen. To keep his mind from being cruelly sundered he would endure.

A sudden weight on his lower half threatened to collapse him. He could feel fur and claws wrap around his chest, the harness tugged on at his neck and there was hot breath on his bare skin. The dog’s prick skated along the cleft of his arse a few times before finally slamming into his loose hole, still slick with lyrium and human spend. Relentlessly the dog pounded him, the powerful thrusts forcing him to find strength in his weak legs to stay upright. He whimpered at the burn in his limbs but there were no words. Anders screamed when the mutt’s knot swelled, his legs finally giving out.

Gently the dog lowered his upper half to the floor and Anders buried his face in his arms. The dog made himself comfortable over him and Anders whimpered again at the sudden weight that shifted to the side slightly, the knot pulling at his entrance but remaining stubbornly inside. He heard Red chuckle and a few shuffling steps closer. His current bedmate growled, low and deep.

“All right Dozer,” Red said amiably backing up again. “The bitch is yours for a bit.”

He couldn’t help the hysterical giggles that escaped when Dozer began licking his back. “The dog’s a more courteous lover.”

“You’ll be screaming again when he yanks free,” said Red conversationally.

Anders had no idea how long he lay there with a large dog half on him spurting copious amounts of spunk into him. He did scream when Dozer lurched upright, pulling his cock out with a vicious tug. Anders fell to the side and shuddered all over, whether from the lyrium or having just been violated by an animal he didn’t know. Red squatted in front of him when Dozer lost interest, patting his shoulder.

“Good job whore,” he said cheerfully. “You took Dozer like a true bitch. Made me hard all over again seeing how much you enjoyed his cock. Think I’ll leave you with one last gift.”

Red shifted to his knees and Anders shuddered violently, curling up into a tight ball. His prick was indeed stiff, which only made Anders’ stomach roll alarmingly. He fisted his cock rapidly as Anders watched glops of semen splatting on his cheek and lips when he came again.

“Thank you Ser,” Anders whispered weakly.

“I’ll see you on the fifteenth,” said Red standing. “Keep being a good slut and I might let you use your cock for a change. Come on Dozer.”

He lay there for a long time shivering, mind numb; spend dribbling out of aching hole. Eventually he wiped his lips and staggered upright to shuffle over to the door Red had once more left wide open. Anders stood there leaning against it for support trying to find the strength to clean up.

“I hate dogs,” he said flatly.

Somehow Anders found enough strength to clean the clinic. He only made a token effort at cleaning himself before collapsing onto a cot and falling into an exhausted slumber. Pounding on his door woke him after only a few hours however. Anders pulled a blanket over his body as he sat up, wincing at the pain in his backside and the feeling of dried spunk on the backs of his thighs.

“It’s open,” Anders called out not really caring who was at the door.

“Anders you should always lock your door…” Hawke began in admonishment.

Hawke took three steps into the room and stopped in his tracks. His chastisement turned to concern and he rushed forward. Anders thought that he must be quite a sight. He was still jittery, all of his muscles ached and his arse actively throbbed. Wincing he lay back down, pulling the blanket over enough to cover his backside.

“You look terrible!” Hawke exclaimed. He put his wrist to Anders’ forehead and frowned. “You’re not feverish.”

“I’m fine Hawke,” Anders sighed looking up at him.

“You don’t look it,” said Hawke skeptically. “Did something happen last night? Maker, why are you shaking?”

“No it…” he began. There was no believable lie he could tell. He couldn’t come up with a story to explain why he was in such a state when Hawke had left him in a far better one. “I just need a bath and some food.”

“You lay there and rest for a few more minutes while I get you a bath ready.”

“That’s not necessary…”

“Oh shush. I’m your friend. Let me help you.”

“I’ll get the bath,” said Anders as firmly as he could. He sat back up, managing to avoid grimacing. “I wouldn’t mind some of your mother’s wonderful cooking though.”

Hawke didn’t look convinced but he thankfully left, promising to return with a large plate of pancakes and bacon. As soon as the door shut behind him Anders sent waves of healing magic over himself determined to help Hawke with whatever it was he needed. Justice was coming awake and bandits on the coast or spiders and dragonlings in the Bone Pit sounded like just what he needed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a new tag. Please be aware.

_Two Months Later_

Fenris was beginning to notice a pattern. By happenstance he’d been with Hawke and the Abomination on the second and sixteenth of the last two months. Anders had been jumpy and more paranoid than usual as well as seeming exhausted but determined to hide it. If Hawke had noticed he hadn’t said anything. Fenris didn’t care a wit for the mage but this and a few other oddities had his curiosity piqued.

While Anders had never exactly liked Hawke’s mabari, King, in the last months he seemed to have developed a strange terror of the dog. Fenris had watched Anders turn as white as a sheet when Hawke had strode into the clinic with King panting placidly beside him. Anders put on enough of a show to fool Hawke but Fenris saw how he’d constantly watched King and how tense he became when the dog was near.

Anders had refused to leave the city around the very end of one month and the beginning of the next for some time now. Fenris found it very suspicious that the middle of the month had been added to that restriction. Hawke had noticed this but didn’t seem too concerned about it. He was concerned about the way Anders’ gentle rebuffs of his amorous intentions had begun turning into flat apologetic refusals and pleas for him to search elsewhere.

It wasn’t the Abomination’s self-depreciating attitude that had him lurking around the clinic tonight or the strange behavioral pattern or even his sudden fright of King. Hawke was suffering because of Anders and he would find out why. Their enigmatic leader had shown clear interest in Anders for years but he had also shown interest in Fenris. While he wasn’t sure if he wanted that sort of attention from another mage, he didn’t like seeing Hawke’s hurt expression every time Anders walked away from him lately.

That’s how he found himself in Darktown on the night of the fifteenth, dressed in refugee rags and sitting at the base of the stairs so he could easily watch the entrance to Anders’ clinic. The lanterns were put out far earlier than normal. For a long while nothing odd happened. People started down the first flight only to see the unlit lantern and turn back. Fenris was about ready to go home when he heard footsteps on the stairs above him.

Five cloaked individuals made their way casually down one set of stairs and back up the next. The lead person wore a red cloak and walked boldly up to the door of Anders’ clinic despite the lantern being dark. There were three measured knocks and the door opened almost immediately. The cloaked figures filed in and the door was shut behind them. Fenris stole up the stairs and knelt, placing an ear cautiously to the keyhole.

“…ow much you love Templar dick. So the boys and I will fuck you ‘til your little prick is ready for my girl here.”

“Yes Ser.”

“I just have one thing to take care of first. Can’t have you making a baby now can we. Though I wouldn’t mind seeing you fat with Dozer’s pups.”

“Yes Ser.”

Fenris’ eyes grew wide as he listened to derisive laughter. Anders’ voice had been barely audible but obviously strained. The implications of the overheard statement turned his stomach.

“Give me your ass bitch. I’ve got to milk you dry before we can get started.”

For an hour he listened at the keyhole, shifting only when his knees grew stiff, unable to leave. He listened to Anders whimper and then moan and gasp in imagined pleasure between deep grunts and the faint sounds of flesh slapping together. It came back around to whimpering and more derisive laughter. From the irritated female voice and the first male’s disappointed voice apparently Anders’ cock hadn’t cooperated. Fenris closed his eyes listening to Anders’ profuse apologies over the sound of hard swats, no doubt on his arse.

He heard the familiar terror of Anders’ tone, begging for a chance to please her some other way. That was when he couldn’t stand to listen to any more. Fenris slunk away from the door and took his station by the stairs, fighting his own terrible memories, unsure what to do. He knew he couldn’t leave and he dared not interfere. Anders would be useless and five on one weren’t good odds considering that Templars were well trained at killing. Fenris didn’t even have his sword. He hadn’t expected to need it.

Another half hour had passed before the five strangers left. They were in high spirits, laughing and joking. If Fenris had entertained any thoughts of leaving before at least checking on the mage they withered and died under the heat of his fury. Fenris waited until their voices were only echoing in his head before hurrying over to the door they’d left wide open.

Anders was sitting on one of the cots, arms wrapped around his knees, face buried and mumbling fearfully. His normally neat clinic was in disarray, cots pushed away creating a clear space around the one he sat on. The sheets on the cot were mostly hanging off one side with several damp spots on the portion he could see. Anders himself wasn’t much better. His hair was disheveled, sticking up in the back and badly tangled. He was completely naked, his skin flushed and his whole body trembling.

Horrified Fenris kicked the door shut as he started forward. The only clear words he heard were ‘Maker’ and ‘bitch’ before Anders’ head snapped up and over, eyes full of terror until he realized who was with him. Terror gave way to despair and then resignation.

“Come to gloat?” Anders asked sluggishly.

He shifted up to his hands and knees, head hung low. His arse was a violent shade of red with splashes of something blue standing out clearly. Fenris saw what appeared to be semen dribbling out of his entrance. He clenched his fists and took a couple of steps closer, angry and horrified, remembering nights when he was in a similar state.

“You can fuck me if you want,” Anders said indifferently. “Sorry about the mess.” He giggled suddenly, a horrible desperate sound completely without mirth. “The last dog didn’t seem to mind.”

“Do you really think so little of me?” Fenris asked unsure if he were angrier with Anders or himself.

“And you hold me in such high regards?” he asked with a hint of the fire and sarcasm Fenris had come to expect from him. It died quickly however. Anders collapsed forward and struggled to roll to his side. “Why are you here?”

“What’s wrong with you?” Fenris asked stepping closer. Even if he had been repeatedly used for an hour and a half it looked as if like he was in worse shape than he should have been. “You seem…”

“Like I was just raped?” Anders offered casually when Fenris stopped speaking. He struggled to a sitting position, almost falling off of the cot in the process.

Fenris hurried forward a few more steps, annoyed when Anders waved him away. He was still teetering at the edge of the cot, trying to get his feet down, his upper half wavering badly. “Intoxicated,” Fenris said coolly.

“It’s the lyrium,” Anders said tiredly.

“Lyrium?”

Another of those terrible laughs escaped him. “I didn’t realize what was happening. Some healer I am.”

“What are you talking about?” Fenris asked shuffling close enough to catch him if he fell.

He was startled when Anders lunged at him. What started off as a swing to knock him away turned into a bear hug to keep him upright. Fenris winced at the strong smell of sex that clung to him, trying to ignore his naked body and the fluids still oozing from his arse. Anders held himself as steady as he could, hands gripping Fenris’ shoulders tightly. He gazed intently into Fenris’ eyes. It was disturbing how little of his amber irises ringed the enormous pupils.

“Lyrium potions,” said Anders carefully. “Are not meant to be absorbed through the walls of one’s inner arse.”

“You are a mage,” Fenris said in confusion. “Lyrium won’t affect you the same way.”

“Which is why he coats my asshole with it,” Anders said starting to look annoyed. “Let me dump a lyrium potion up your arse and we’ll see if you… get high before screaming in agony.” He smirked after a moment. “Sorry. I forgot you’re covered in it. Why am I talking to you?”

Anders shoved him away and tottered backwards onto the cot. Fenris stumbled and caught his balance, surprised at the sudden burst of strength. Nothing was making sense and the mage’s rambling was only causing him more confusion.

“Anders…”

“Get out,” he interrupted in a very clear voice. “If you care for Hawke at all, forget what you heard. Forget what you saw. He could pay the price.”

“What are you talking about?” Fenris snarled. He was more confused and angry than he had been moments before. “What does Hawke have to do with you and… them?”

“Get out,” Anders repeated. “Don’t come back.”

Fenris hesitated, watching as Anders struggled to his feet once more. It didn’t surprise him that Anders didn’t want his help even though he obviously needed someone’s. Anders gestured at the door silently, his expression eerily blank. Fenris stalked out and slammed the door behind him.

He spent most of the night pacing through his mansion, thinking of everything that had happened. It was early morning when he came to a decision, the sun just started to peek over the horizon. Fenris pulled his armor on and grabbed his sword on the way out. He walked quickly back to Darktown, intending to get some straight answers. On the stairs before Anders’ clinic he paused. Hawke was standing in front of one of the doors holding a covered tray.

“Hawke,” Fenris said evenly.

“Fenris?” Hawke said turning around. “What are you doing here?”

“The abomination has been acting strangely,” Fenris said after a moment of thought. “I merely wanted to see what he’s been doing.”

“Yes,” Hawke said cautiously. “I’m sure it’s nothing like what you’re assuming.”

Fenris kept his expression carefully neutral and gestured at the door. He had no intentions of telling Hawke he’d been here just hours ago.

“Please don’t cause an argument,” Hawke said quietly. “I really don’t know what’s going on but I suspect arguing with you will be the last thing he needs this morning.”

“I will stay in the doorway,” Fenris replied calmly. “While you talk with him.”

It didn’t surprise him that Hawke didn’t trust his motives. Given their history Fenris likely wouldn’t have trusted his motives either in Hawke’s position. He knew what had been going on last night however and he had a strong feeling that it had been happening for months. Even Anders didn’t deserve that sort of treatment. As ferocious as the mage was about his rights and his cause, Fenris needed to know why Anders had allowed this Templar to have such power over him. Whatever the specific reason Fenris knew it had something to do with Hawke.

After a pleading look Hawke turned and knocked twice. He tried the knob and muttered, “At least he locked the door this time.” Hawke knocked again and hollered, “Anders!”

Fenris wondered how many times Hawke had been at this door so early in the morning. There was a muffled yell from inside and they waited for Anders to let them in. His hair was wet but much neater than before. There were smudges under his eyes but his pupils were the correct size. Water beaded on his bare chest and soaked through his thin trousers in a few spots.

“Hawke,” Anders began when he opened the door. His eyes moved immediately to Fenris and widened slightly. The hand holding the door still trembled slightly. He gripped the door tightly to stop it and frowned.

“He’s just concerned,” Hawke said soothingly. “I’ve brought you breakfast.”

Anders allowed Hawke to usher him inside but looked back over his shoulder, eyebrow arched. What have you told him? Fenris shook his head and leaned in the doorway. I have told him nothing. Hawke suspected something was amiss however and it was only a matter of time before he found out what. Fenris had until the first of the month to figure out how Hawke was in danger.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a new paragraph at the beginning. I have no idea how I missed it last night. =/

To figure out why, Fenris first had to find out who the red cloaked Templar was. Even after he’d managed to get Anders alone no amount of asking, pleading or threatening could get him to talk about it. Frustrated Fenris had gone back to his mansion to sleep and think. The next morning he went to the Gallows and lurked in the courtyard, watching and listening. If the Templars had normal servants he would have gone to them first. He knew from conversations with Hawke’s brother that the Tranquil did most of the mundane work in the building and they couldn’t be paid off to keep quiet about a strange elf asking strange questions.

Loitering about in the courtyard wasn’t very effective either and might even be a little dangerous. If this Templar knew of Anders’ companionship with Hawke it wasn’t much of a stretch to think he would know of Hawke’s other companions. Fenris might be overlooked because of the obvious enmity between him and Anders but he didn’t really want to take that risk if Hawke would end up in trouble for it.

Just after noon Fenris sent a message to Carver asking him to visit the mansion as soon as possible. He then left and hurried to the Hanged Man. Subterfuge and information gathering was definitely not his strong suit. If you needed something split in half Fenris would quarter it without breaking a sweat. In battle he drew the enemy to himself, taking hits that would cripple the mages or slow down the rogues. Being sneaky just was not in his nature.

He didn’t know how wise it was to trust either Isabela or Varric with the whole truth. Anders would probably not thank him anyway but he would definitely not appreciate his situation becoming public knowledge among Hawke’s companions. Since the dwarf had proven more reliable in the past and seemed to actually like Anders, Fenris headed up the stairs at the back of the tavern glad that Isabela was missing from her usual station at the bar.

“Varric,” said Fenris as he entered the private suite.

“Fenris,” Varric said without looking up from the papers scattered in front of him.

“I require your assistance.”

“Oh,” he said looking up. Varric arched an eyebrow as Fenris closed the door. “Something wrong?”

“You have informants in Darktown?”

“Some.”

“The Gallows?”

“No. What are you up to?”

The suspicion in his voice and his guarded expression had been expected. Fenris held in a sigh and pulled out the nearest chair. “Anders has… a large problem. He is unable to find a solution himself.”

“So why would you want to help him fix it?” Varric asked leaning back in his chair and tenting his fingers in front of him.

“Because of the nature of his problem,” Fenris said calmly. “It… is something I cannot abide. I will say no more about it either.”

“Fair enough,” said Varric after a moment. “What do you need?”

“To find a man. A Templar. I need to know what this man is holding over Anders.”

“Do you have a name? A description?”

“Not at present but I hope to soon.”

“That’s not very helpful Broody.”

“He shows up to the clinic late in the day, usually around the beginning and the middle of the month. He wears a red cloak to conceal his appearance. I have reason to believe this man might start showing up a little more often.”

“I’ll have Blondie’s clinic watched,” said Varric frowning with his brows pulled down. Perhaps he and Hawke weren’t the only ones who had noticed Anders’ odd behavior. “Get me a name and I’ll tell you what this guy eats for breakfast.”

“Thank you Varric,” Fenris said. “If this man does show up could you have your informant notify me immediately?”

“Sure thing Fenris,” said Varric earnestly.

“For now… could you avoid speaking with Hawke about this?” Fenris said softly as he stood. “Whatever this man holds over Anders… it has something to do with Hawke. He fears greatly for his safety.”

“Does either of them know you’re doing this?” Varric asked knowingly.

“Anders would not accept my help,” Fenris replied shaking his head. “No man or woman should endure what he’s being forced to go through. Hawke… will know at some point. I believe he suspects already.”

Varric sighed and nodded. “I won’t say anything. Just get me a name.”

“Thank you Varric.”

Fenris headed home to wait for Carver, hoping that he could help identify this Templar. He spent the time pacing and thinking. If Carver were to help him identify Anders’ rapist he would need more information than what he’d given Varric. He was reluctant to reveal too much but knew it was a possibility. Anders would definitely not want Hawke’s Templar brother informed. They had gotten along as well as he and Anders normally did.

Unlike Hawke and Anders, Fenris knew why he’d joined the order. It was only partially to separate himself from his older brother’s shadow. He saw the dangers that most of the mages around him didn’t for one reason or another. Carver wanted to be a Templar that a mage could trust, to actually protect them and the general populace from each other. Fenris was positive Carver would help him.

It was late when Carver finally called out to him from the foyer. Fenris stood on the balcony and waved him up, noting that he still wore his Templar armor.

“I need your help Carver,” Fenris said grimly as he ascended the stairs.

“With what?” Carver asked. “You said it had something to do with Garrett.”

“I believe your brother may be in some form of danger from one of the Templars in the Gallows,” Fenris said leading him into the bedroom he lived in.

“How did you find this out?” said Carver sitting down in a chair in front of the fireplace.

Fenris sighed as he sat in the other chair. “It has come to my attention that… one of our companions is being raped by Templars. I need the identity of the ring leader.”

“Garrett?” Carver asked angrily as he shot to his feet.

“No,” Fenris replied calmly. “Anders.”

“I don’t believe it,” said Carver scornfully.

“If Hawke was threatened?”

Carver frowned thoughtfully and sat back down. “I’m listening.”

“You must not repeat anything I say to anyone. Anders believes Hawke is in grave danger and until we can find this man and ascertain why Anders believes that, we cannot risk him finding out and following through on his threats.”

He nodded and Fenris spent the next half hour telling Carver everything he’d witnessed, overheard and suspected. Carver’s expression became darker the longer he spoke.

“Sick bastard,” Carver said disgustedly. “How can I help?”

“By listening to the gossip and bragging. I need this man’s name. We have until the first of the month to find him and what he’s holding over Anders.”


	5. Chapter 5

It was now the twenty-third and Anders was supposed to be at the Hanged Man playing wicked grace with Hawke and the others. He had begged off instead and kept the clinic open. Working or fighting was the only effective way of curbing the problem he’d developed in the last couple of months. Red had intended this outcome and Anders had been incredibly stupid about it. He was addicted to the lyrium Red insisted on using as a lubricant.

He knew from outings with Hawke that ingesting the lyrium in the normal, appropriate fashion wouldn’t curb the cravings he now felt near constantly. Anders resisted as long as he could but found himself on a cot with a bottle of lyrium using his fingers to get it up his arse at least once between visits in the last month. He didn’t like the way it made him feel, fuzzy headed and weak. Coming down from the high it gave him was getting slightly worse, the shaking lasting longer than it had previously. It was also getting more difficult to resist.

Justice was no help. The spirit craved it as much as he did. Anders didn’t want to think of the long term affects this addiction would have on him or Justice. There was no way he could just stop however. Red would keep coming. At this point even if Anders wasn’t obsessive about having enough on hand he thought Red would probably have a small supply of his own at this point. It might affect the Templar differently; they were already addicted to lyrium after all. The penis was an entry point into the body however and since Red was the only constant during those long nights, Anders was positive he was addicted to this particular use as well.

After he closed the clinic Anders paced the length of it for a while. Eventually he sat on one of the cots staring at a bottle of lyrium he’d set on the desk, feeling twitchy and anxious, wanting the hated liquid coating his passage and hating himself for wanting it. His shirt came off first, left on the cot to be forgotten until later. Anders took off his boots next and kicked them away carelessly. He was down to his small clothes, his trousers lying forgotten on the floor, when there was a knock at the door followed by two more, a count of two between each knock.

Anders stared at the door for a few seconds then shuffled over with a resigned sigh. Red stood on the other side, completely alone for once. He stepped in and shut the door, smirking as he pulled the hood down.

“Expecting someone, slut?” he asked sounding highly amused.

“Hoping Ser,” Anders said the eagerness in his voice not entirely fake. He pushed down his smalls and scurried over to his desk, leaning over it and presenting his arse.

“So eager for my cock are you?” Red said casually sauntering over.

I don’t want your fucking cock but it’s the easiest way to get what I do want, Anders thought morosely. He grabbed the lyrium potion and held it out behind him. “Please Ser.”

“I haven’t forgotten your disappointing performance,” said Red plucking the bottle from his hand. “I’m here because I want your arse to myself. You’ll be a good little whore for me next time though. I’ve got some cock lined up for you that will split you open. Maybe then you’ll get it up when I tell you to. Dozer misses his good little bitch too. You’ll be nice and loose for him.”

“Yes Ser,” Anders said with a shudder.

Anders couldn’t hold in his relieved sigh when Red pushed into him. Soon the cravings twisting around inside him would be gone for a while. He moaned and met the thrusts still hating what was happening but not caring quite so much. His vision became slightly blurry after he’d used a rejuvenation spell on Red’s cock and another coat of lyrium was added to his arse. They moved to a cot where Anders rode him enthusiastically. Another spell and he was taken on his hands and knees, feeling weak and fuzzy, hating it and wishing Red would go away so he could rest for a while until the shakes caught up with him.

He was allowed to collapse to the cot when Red finally spent himself for the third time. His arse was slapped and Anders wearily sat up.

“Thank you Ser,” he said noticing that his words weren’t slurred like they had been last time.

“I’ll see you on the first,” Red said cheerfully. “I’m going to enjoy watching you take Qunari cock. I’m really going to love watching you get fucked like the little bitch dog you are. Until next time whore.”

Anders watched him walk away whistling a cheerful tune and shuddered. He collapsed back onto the cot and lay there trying to make himself get up to close the door at least. Moments later it slammed shut and Anders looked up, once more seeing Fenris coming towards him. The elf had been a source of much stress lately. Instead of offering his arse Anders curled up tighter and watched him warily. Fenris knelt down in front of him and lifted his eyelids. Anders didn’t stop him, just blinked and tried to bring him into focus when he stood and sighed.

“At least it’s not as bad,” he said.

“He’s addicted me to it,” Anders said flatly.

“And himself in the process,” said Fenris turning away. “In Tevinter this man would be praised for his creativity in one breath and condemned for his stupidity in the next.”

“Are you watching me?” Anders asked.

“I am having you watched,” Fenris said walking slowly back towards the front of the clinic.

He watched Fenris as he searched the floor, the cots and shuffled through the papers on his desk. “What are you doing?”

“Searching for something he may have left behind.” Fenris bent over and came up with his trousers. He shook them and dropped them onto the nearest cot.

Anders snorted and rolled to his back and then carefully onto his other side, facing away from Fenris. “The only thing he leaves behind is currently leaking out of my arse.”

Fenris grunted noncommittally. Anders listened to him moving around the clinic for a short time, a little amused by his eventual frustrated sigh. He curled up tightly and wondered why the elf seemed to be so tolerable lately.

“Why are you here?” he asked quietly. “Aren’t you disgusted by me?”

“No,” Fenris said almost sadly. “I am not disgusted. I have been in your position, seen others and done nothing.” He sat on the end of the cot. “I have watched you and Hawke and Merrill just as I said I would. I have seen the slow changes. Hawke is worried for you.”

“I know. You haven’t…”

“I have not told him anything but… he suspects.”

Anders thought of all the questions Fenris had asked the last time he’d showed up after Red’s visit. His presence here now was telling as was his search of the clinic. He thought of how much he hated Red and the cravings, how he hated lying on a cot or the floor afterwards unable to do anything until the worst of the shaking had subsided and the almost sadness he’d just heard. Fenris seemed sincere and Anders needed all of this to stop before the lyrium did irreparable damage. He already feared for Justice. If the elf truly wanted to help him he would have to figure out everything on his own however. If Red suspected any sort of treachery from him Hawke would ultimately pay the price.

“I can’t help you,” Anders whispered.

“I understand,” Fenris said with surprisingly open honesty. “I will protect him.”

He nodded then shuddered. There was a brief touch to his ankle and Anders moved his leg away.

“Allow me to help you now,” he said quietly.

“There’s nothing you can do. It’ll pass. I… will probably need help next time. It’s… going to be bad…”

“I am hoping there won’t be a next time.”

I hope you’re right, thought Anders.

“May I… stay for a while?”

Anders closed his eyes as he shrugged, unconcerned either way. The shaking grew worse and he felt a blanket placed carefully over him. Fenris tentatively patted his shoulder. The gesture was awkward but Anders felt a little better, hopeful that Fenris could help somehow.


	6. Chapter 6

For four days Fenris waited impatiently. He paced his mansion, tried not to pester Varric and avoided the Gallows. When Carver finally did show up on the afternoon of the twenty-seventh Fenris pounced on him before the front door was shut.

“Well,” he said anxiously flying down the stairs.

“I’ve got a description and a nickname,” Caver said darkly. “How long has this been going on? At least a quarter of the Templars brag about screwing the Darktown whore and what a great fuck he is.”

“Venhedis,” Fenris swore angrily. “Longer than I’d suspected apparently. Come on.”

“Can Varric really figure this guy out with just a nickname?”

“I hope so. There isn’t much time.”

Fenris and Carver raced to Lowtown. Neither noticed that they were being followed. They hurried through the busy market to the Hanged Man. It was moderately empty in the common room. Isabela was off with Hawke checking leads on her missing relic but Varric had promised he’d be here for the next couple of weeks.

Varric looked up from the papers in front of him when they burst into the room. “Finally got something for me Junior?”

“A description and his nickname,” Carver said.

“Just a nickname?” Varric asked as he pulled out a clean sheet of parchment.

“It’s all anyone calls him,” said Carver sitting at the table. “It’s got to be a nickname though. Too stupid to be anything else.”

“That might complicate things,” Varric said frowning. He dipped his quill in the nearby inkpot and held it over the clean sheet. “Give me all you’ve got.”

“Average human height,” said Carver as he leaned forward. “Bald, clean shaved, medium build, big bushy eyebrows, brown eyes, he prefers the bow and he’s a low ranking officer. Everyone calls him Red.”

“Red?” Varric said disgustedly looking up from his furious scribbling. “That’s not… shit.”

Fenris whipped around and saw Hawke standing in the doorway. His arms were crossed over his chest, his expression dark. Fenris sighed and sunk into a chair. He knew it had been inevitable but had hoped Carver would not be present when Hawke figured out exactly what was happening to Anders.

“I thought you were with Isabela,” Fenris said.

“We found a chest full of letters,” Hawke said stepping into the room. “She’s busy going through them.” He shut the door and leaned against it. “I’m more interested in why you three are discussing a Templar. It wouldn’t have something to do with why you’ve been so nice to Anders lately would it?”

“I have to get back,” Carver said tersely before Fenris could answer. “Let me know when you’re ready to go after this bastard.”

“Is there anything else before you go?” Varric asked as Carver stood.

“In the Gallows he seems to have moderate views,” he said frowning deeply. “You’d never think him capable of the shit he’s done.”

“Maybe because he has an apostate to play with,” Hawke said coolly. “He doesn’t even have to worry about a slap on the wrist.”

“We are not all like that,” Carver said through gritted teeth as he glared at his brother.

“I would hope you’re not,” Hawke said his tone going from cool to icy. “You said it yourself though. Have we met a Templar that wasn’t a colossal prig?”

Carver glared at him and Hawke stared frostily back. After a tense moment Hawke moved and Carver brushed by him slamming the door on his way out. Varric winced and Fenris studiously studied the table top. They hadn’t gotten along very well before but now their relationship was practically non-existent. Hawke felt betrayed and Carver was too stubborn to even try to explain.

“So,” Varric said into the awkward tense silence. “If you two would like to take this conversation elsewhere I’ll get to work. There isn’t much time left.”

“Of course,” Hawke said evenly turning to Fenris. “My place or yours?”

“Yours is closer,” Fenris sighed as he stood. “Please hurry Varric.”

“I’ll do my best Fenris,” Varric said. “There are some things that you just can’t hurry.”

Fenris nodded and followed Hawke out of the Hanged Man. The walk back to Hightown was extremely tense. They were silent all the way up the stairs and through the market. Hawke led him into his estate and into the library. The door was shut behind them and he climbed the stairs to the upper section.

“He’s being assaulted isn’t he?” Hawke said flopping into an overstuffed chair. “By this Templar you’re trying to find.”

“We know where he is,” Fenris said trying to keep his voice even. “We need to know how he’s holding you over Anders. Then I will crush his heart and leave his body for the crows.”

“Me?” said Hawke his eyebrows climbing in surprise.

“Yes. You. Is that so surprising?”

“No… I suppose not.” Hawke frowned and leaned forward. “Why are you trying to help him?”

“Because I am not heartless,” Fenris snapped. “The things I have seen and gone through… he is being played with. Twice now I’ve seen him afterwards. It… it’s…” He growled in frustration and threw himself into a chair.

“I’m sorry Fenris,” Hawke said quietly. “I know you care about a lot of things. I just never imagined Anders would be one of them under any circumstances.”

“It’s wrong. Even a mage does not deserve to be used like this. This man has invited so many of his fellows along they call him the Darktown whore in the Gallows. He uses lyrium potions for lubricant and Anders has become addicted to it. I suspect this man has somehow gotten a dog to violate him. It will grow worse and more deviant until Anders is broken completely and he no longer cares about any of us.”

“Dear Maker,” Hawke whispered in horror.

“Three more days and he will be raped again. And he will allow it to keep you safe from whatever threat this man has made.”

Hawke stood and started pacing around his study. Fenris watched him miserably from the chair. It was unlikely that Varric would find out anything in time to prevent the next horror from happening. He didn’t want Hawke in danger any more than Anders did but saw no way to keep them both safe without fleeing the city.

“I won’t let that happen,” Hawke muttered. “I can’t.”

“How then?” Fenris asked. “I can’t protect you both from all the Templars in the Gallows.”

“Maybe you won’t have to,” said Hawke grinning suddenly. “Come on.”

“Where are we going?”

“To talk to Aveline, Isabela, Merrill and Varric.”

“Hawke?”

“This man obviously knows things,” Hawke said tugging him up from the chair. “We need to use that to our advantage.”

“How?”

“By doing what he doesn’t expect.”


	7. Chapter 7

Anders sat huddled in a corner of his clinic on the morning of the first. His night shirt was soaked with sweat and it sat twisted on his shoulders, the sleeves pulled tight against one side of his arms. Dread at what he would endure tonight had given him terrible nightmares that prevented rest. With the night half over he’d given up on sleep and tried to work on chores around the clinic that he’d been neglecting lately. Eventually he’d stopped trying to clean and he sat in this corner, as far away from his lyrium supply as he could get.

The anticipation of taking a cock large enough to split him open multiple times then being fucked by Dozer again he might have been able to cope with if it weren’t for the cravings. He was anxious and terrified as it was but if it were just him, he might have been able to distract himself. With Justice ranting away in his head it was near impossible. Anders was deeply afraid that Justice was becoming thoroughly more addicted to the lyrium than he was.

It had been seven days since Red had last darkened his door and each one of them had been a fight. Anders had been able to placate the spirit at first, when his body wasn’t in dire need of the dangerous drug. As his craving grew worse so did his ability to reason with Justice on why it was such a bad idea. Even though his arse would be full of lyrium and spend tonight the ranting spirit he shared his body with simply would not back down or be consoled in any manner. Anders held control by the thinnest of threads and he didn’t want to know what would happen if it snapped.

“All right,” he croaked aloud in resignation. “Just a little bit. Then we open the clinic.”

Justice fell mercifully silent but there was an anxious anticipation in the back of his head where the spirit mostly resided. Anders staggered to his feet and shuffled over to the loose floorboard. He knelt, pushed aside the board and stood with one bottle that was only half full. After falling onto the nearest cot he hurriedly pulled up his nightshirt and kicked off his small clothes. Carefully he poured a small amount onto the fingers of one hand and worked them into his arse. This process was repeated until the bottle was empty.

The amount wasn’t nearly enough to satisfy the cravings completely but Justice was a knot of contentment. Anders lay on the cot a little while longer, clutching the bottle tightly, his fingers and his arse coated with slick blue liquid, relieved and revolted at the same time. He used his nightshirt to clean himself off and washed quickly before dressing. The high was already wearing off and he opened the clinic with a clear head and trembling hands, still wanting but able to resist, Justice blessedly silent.

He tried to push everything out of his mind and concentrate on the clinic. Anders managed to get the wash done between patients and even tidied up his herb storage. The longer the day wore on however the more he thought of Dozer, the relentless thrusting, the teeth so close to his flesh, the hot breath on his neck and the sudden swelling of his knot that tied them together. Deep down he knew the dog was being used just like he was. Whatever Red had dumped on him had tricked Dozer’s nose into telling him that Anders was a ripe female and everything after was simple biology.

It didn’t lessen his fear or the abject humiliation he would feel if Fenris showed up afterwards again. Since the elf hadn’t shown up at the clinic he could only assume that he hadn’t figured out how to keep Hawke safe yet. He was terrified but resigned that he would be used again tonight and completely positive that Fenris would indeed show up. Anders could only hope that he could keep his wits about him with so much lyrium coursing through his body.

Almost as if thinking about him had summoned him, Fenris walked through the door. Hawke followed closely behind along with King. As always when he saw the mabari now his stomach clenched and his bowels loosened. He watched for a moment, trying to control himself, as Hawke came up next to him. Hawke turned to the five people waiting.

“I’m sorry everyone,” he said in a loud clear voice. “The clinic is going to be closed for a while.” There was disappointed grumbling as Hawke continued. “We’ll help you right now and hopefully have the clinic running again soon.”

“Hawke… what…” Anders said in a small voice.

“Let’s help these people and get them on their way,” Hawke said quietly. “Then we’ll explain.”

Anders watched Fenris for a moment searching the back of the clinic. He knelt by some storage crates when Hawke blocked his view and gently turned him back around with a hand at his shoulder. It only took a few minutes for the two of them to clear out his clinic. King was crouched beside the crates and Fenris was striding towards the doors.

“Hawke… Fenris what are you doing?” Anders asked in bewilderment.

“We’re getting you out of here,” Hawke said. “Let’s get a few things together.”

“No,” said Anders backing away. “I can’t. You… I have to…”

“He knows,” Fenris said briskly on his way by. “We have a plan and neither of you should be in any danger.”

“He knows,” Anders said his gaze snapping to Hawke. He backed away further and ran into the wall. “A plan. Does that mean you know who is holding our secrets? Who is protecting him?”

“We don’t,” Hawke said coming towards him. “Not yet.”

“No,” Anders said shaking his head. “No. No plan. You have to go. The risk isn’t worth it.”

“Anders…” Fenris began starting towards him as well.

“No,” he said again darting away from both of them. “You need to leave. Both of you. You don’t understand.”

“I’ll be all right,” Hawke said soothingly walking cautiously closer. “We’ll be together Anders. I’ll be fine.”

“For how long?” Anders asked sitting down hard on a cot behind him. “As soon as you show your face again the Templars will take you. Then… I can’t do it again. Not after… Please.”

“He knows Hawke is a mage?” Fenris said sharply.

“Not after Karl,” Hawke said slowly. “That’s what you were going to say. Dear Maker.” His hand went to his forehead and he sat next to Anders.

“Please Hawke,” he begged. “If anything happens to him here you’ll be turned in. I… I can handle it. Just go. Please.”

“Absolutely not,” Hawke said immediately. “We’ll just have to stay hidden for a while.”

“Varric can arrange another food and water delivery,” said Fenris. “Aveline might be persuaded to divert patrols for a while.”

“Maybe we can get Merrill and Isabela to smuggle us out of the city,” Hawke said contemplatively.

They continued throwing suggestions back and forth but Anders had stopped listening. He found it hard to believe Hawke was willing to go into hiding to keep them both safe. “Is this really happening,” he murmured.

Fenris hurried away and Hawke stood. “Go with Fenris, King,” said Hawke. Anders shivered as King barked and raced after the elf who had disappeared out the door. “Yes Anders. We’re leaving. I’m not letting you stay here to get raped again.”

He accepted Hawke’s hand and was pulled to his feet. In a daze he helped Hawke stuff some of his clothing and a few things he didn’t want to leave behind in a pack. Anders hugged it to his chest and followed him out the door. A thought had him racing back inside before the door was closed however.

“Anders what are you doing?” Hawke said following him back inside. “We need to go.”

“I forgot,” he said dropping to his knees in front of the loose floorboard.

“No Anders,” Hawke said gently as he squatted down next to him. “You don’t need it.”

“I do,” Anders said grimly. “I don’t want it. I hate it. But I do need it.”

“You won’t be able to stop with all this tempting you,” Hawke said putting a hand on his arm. “I’ll help you get through it.”

“Hawke, Justice isn’t going to let me stop.”

“Maker’s Breath… Justice is… This is not good.”


	8. Chapter 8

The original plan had changed slightly. Fenris waited between the doors inside of Anders’ clinic. Varric was hidden in the shadows at the back and Isabela in the shadows to his right. Carver waited hidden just inside the Hawke estate cellars with King, watching the clinic from outside. The first plan had Red and whoever was with him dead before he’d gone two steps into the clinic. While it might take a while for the person guarding Red’s well-being to figure out he’d been killed they couldn’t risk Hawke being exposed if they couldn’t find this person in time.

Red’s companions, no matter who they were, would soon breathe their last. Fenris would open the door and hopefully incapacitate Red while Varric and Isabela took care of anyone else. Carver and King would watch the stairs and deal with stragglers. They would hide and hopefully when Red woke he would lead Isabela to his protection.

Hawke and Anders were both safe in a Lowtown house and had been since that afternoon. Aveline and Merrill were with them at the moment. If things here didn’t go well they would be spirited out of Kirkwall but if things went as planned Hawke would return to his estate with Anders and they could begin working on the next problem. For now it was a simple matter of waiting.

The knock finally came on the door to his left and Fenris quietly moved over. After the third knock he opened it, staying carefully hidden behind it. Only half of the lanterns inside the clinic were lit to give the rogues good places to hide. He didn’t know how Anders opened the door but he was hopeful Red wouldn’t suspect anything wrong until it was far too late.

“Hiding from me won’t help you,” Red said cheerfully. “You’re still my little slut and you’re going to make my guests happy.”

A dog trotted in first, a large tan mastiff with black ears, muzzle and paws. He looked a good deal like King but a slightly smaller and not nearly as intelligent version. Fenris was instantly furious and he understood why Hawke’s mabari made Anders so tense now. His nose was up sniffing the air. Red called out again as the dog turned following his nose. The Templar came into view as Dozer spotted him. Fenris tensed, ready to kill him if he had to but he trotted forward, tail wagging back and forth, sniffing his legs as he joined Fenris behind the door.

“Found your bitch Dozer?” Red said cheerfully as he turned.

Fenris ignored Dozer. He was either a family pet or someone’s companion, obviously not trained to attack. Red’s eyes widened when he saw Fenris grinning at him and he tried to back pedal away. His arm shot out and Fenris grabbed him by the neck, squeezing as he yanked Red forward. With his other hand he grabbed Red’s wrist and twisted the arm painfully.

He heard Bianca’s familiar ratcheting and moments later heard a gurgle from the other side of the door along with a roar, Isabela’s laughter and the unmistakable sound of steel clashing together. Fenris ignored all of it and focused on the gasping man in front of him. Red pushed at him with his free hand but they were weak and fluttering. His eyes rolled back into his head and Fenris threw him to the floor where he moaned in pain but didn’t rise; only shifted his legs slightly. Still ignoring everything around him Fenris knelt next to the unconscious man and phased a hand into his chest. He spent a few moments, puncturing, tearing and bruising most of Red’s organs.

“Don’t we need him alive?” Isabela asked casually looking around the door.

“He will wake,” Fenris said confidently. “He will be in pain but he will wake.”

“What are you doing?” Varric asked coming up to him.

“Ensuring this man dies painfully and slow,” he replied. “I have a rudimentary knowledge of anatomy and the body’s functions.”

“Makes sense,” said Varric. “You have to know where it’s at before you can rip it out.”

“What about the dog?” Isabela asked gesturing behind him.

Dozer was cowering behind him, tail between his legs, head low and whining pitifully. His first thoughts were rather unkind, kill the wretched thing. Fenris shrugged and stood up. “Leave it.”

“We should take him with us,” Carver said from behind Varric. “He definitely doesn’t belong to that bastard. No pets in the Gallows.”

“You think he belongs to whoever is holding secrets for him?” Varric asked nudging Red’s shoulder.

“It’s possible,” said Carver.

“Do you think he could lead us home?” Isabela said crouching and holding out her hand.

Dozer took a couple of cautious steps forward to snuffle at her hand but backed away and whined.

“If he were a mabari I’d say definitely,” Carver said glancing at King standing placidly at his side. “I don’t know how smart normal dogs are though.”

“Some of them are smarter than you’d think,” Varric said contemplatively. “Might be easier to hide him for a while and listen for a family missing their four legged companion.”

“Think you could get him to Lowtown Fenris?” Isabela asked. “We could put him with Hawke.”

“I don’t think that would be wise,” said Fenris frowning.

The others hadn’t been told anything specific about the situation, just that Anders had been raped and Hawke threatened. Only Carver knew the extent of Red’s depravity. They shared a look and Carver shook his head.

“I agree,” Carver said tersely. “We’re better off taking him up the cellar so the dwarves can take care of him. We shouldn’t chance giving away their position.”

Red groaned from the floor and shifted slightly.

“Let’s hurry,” Isabela said. “Before he wakes up.”

Fenris carefully grabbed Dozer’s collar and followed the others out of the clinic over the bodies of three Tal-Vashoth mercenaries. Isabela had disappeared already and Varric was hurrying down the stairs to give his people instructions. Carver was holding open the cellar door, King still beside him, and he hurried over. With the door shut behind them Fenris let go of Dozer’s collar. Dozer stayed next to him, tail still between his legs, sniffing the air and shifting his weight.

“You should take him up,” Carver said sinking down against the door. “The last time I was here ended in a shouting match.”

“Why don’t you tell Hawke why you joined the Templars?” Fenris asked.

“He won’t listen,” said Carver sullenly. “He sees the uniform. Men like him.” He jerked a thumb over his shoulder. “The bad thing is that he isn’t entirely wrong. There are so many Templars like him here. The mages don’t trust any of us.”

“If they are anything like him do you really blame them?” Fenris said.

“No,” Carver said scowling. “Not all of the Templars are like that though. You’ve been hanging out with my brother too much.”

Fenris shook his head and took a few steps towards the stairs, Dozer staying beside him. “I see what Anders and Hawke have been trying to tell me. The Templars in Tevinter are useless but the Templar Order here is too much like the Magisters. They take because they can. Are all of them deviant miscreants? Surely not. Have I seen any? No.”

Carver sighed and Fenris continued up the stairs. Bodahn and Sandal didn’t seem surprised by his presence but it took a minute to convince Dozer to stay with them. Despite his obvious fear downstairs the dog seemed reluctant to let Fenris leave. When he returned to the cellar Carver and King were gone and he used the door to Darktown. Carver was helping Varric’s people to haul off the bodies and King stood guard by the stairs. Fenris silently joined them.

When the clinic was cleaned and closed up Varric’s dwarves disappeared and he headed to Lowtown with Carver and King. They met Isabela halfway to the Hanged Man where they were to meet. Red had gone straight to the Gallows.


	9. Chapter 9

The house Hawke had taken him to was a simple one. There were two rooms, a living area and a bedroom. He currently occupied the only bed. The mattress was stuffed with straw, the sheets stained and the blanket old and thin. Anders had fallen asleep shortly after arriving. He woke in the small hours of the morning to find that none of the others had gone to bed yet. They were in the other room, light blazing through the open door and talking softly. Hugging his pillow he listened intently.

“This man should be brought before the magistrate,” Aveline said heatedly.

“If I thought the Knight-Commander wouldn’t claim that he’s theirs to punish I’d let you have him,” Hawke sighed. “You know as well as I do she’d snatch him up, slap his hand and set him loose on someone else.”

Aveline sighed heavily and there was a brief pause before she said, “She can be difficult but she doesn’t seem unreasonable.”

“You’re not a mage,” said Hawke coolly. “They only see potential abominations when they look at us.”

“Some of them,” Aveline said evenly. “Not all of them. Wesley was an honorable man. This would have horrified him and what about Carver? He seemed as angry about this as the rest of us are.”

“If I had discovered this first I wouldn’t have involved him,” Hawke said angrily. “He’s a Templar.”

“He’s your brother,” she replied, her voice also raised in anger.

“Let’s not argue,” Merrill pleaded. “Anders is still asleep. We shouldn’t wake him.”

The room became quiet and Anders could hear the clunk of Aveline’s armor as she moved around. He hugged the worn fabric tighter and ran his fingers over the frayed embroidery. Still numb over being swept away from his clinic he didn’t know what to think. Most of his companions that he’d come into contact with didn’t seem to know how to act around him but all of them seemed fairly angry. Whether it was him or Hawke they were angry for he didn’t know.

He wondered how much they knew. Fenris probably knew a great deal but how much had he told the others? Hawke knew about his addiction to the lyrium but did he know about Dozer? Anders hoped not. It was bad enough that he’d let that slip to Fenris.

Murmuring from the other room caught his attention and he listened. There was a chair scraping across the floor and moments later the light from the door was shadowed by Hawke. He closed the door most of the way shut and was soon kneeling in front of him.

“You’re awake,” he said quietly. “I’m sorry if we woke you.”

“You didn’t,” Anders said with a tiny smile.

“Do you need something to eat?” Hawke asked.

“No. I’m still just… really tired.”

“Let me know if you need something. I’ll be right over here.”

Anders nodded and watched him crawl into his bedroll that had been spread out onto the floor. “Hawke,” he whispered.

“Yes?”

“What did he tell you?”

Hawke sighed heavily and the room was silent for a long while. “Everything. I’m so sorry Anders. I knew something was wrong but I never would have guessed…”

“It’s all right,” Anders said feeling slightly stunned. “I didn’t want anyone to know.”

“It is _not_ all right,” he said quietly but emphatically. “How long has this been going on?”

“Months. It wasn’t so bad the first couple of times.”

“Not so bad?” Hawke said in shock. “Anders…”

He rolled away and held in a sigh.

“Anders,” said Hawke again.

“No… it’s all right. At least you understand now.”

Getting involved in an actual relationship had been a horrible idea in the first place but he had desperately wanted Hawke. Anders still did but it seemed that now there might be no hope at all. He had tried to prepare himself but fully understood why Hawke wouldn’t want him.

“But I don’t understand,” he said coming closer. The bed dipped behind him and Anders felt a hand on his arm. “Do you realize how guilty I feel? For letting this go on so long and not realizing? Knowing you allowed this to protect me… I feel partly responsible.”

“Hawke none…” Anders began.

“Yes,” Hawke interrupted firmly. “It _is_ partly my fault. If he hadn’t threatened me what would you have done?”

“Incinerated him.” Anders shrugged and hugged his pillow. “I tried. I agreed to do whatever he wanted once a month thinking I’d have all the time in between to find who held the secrets. It was a nuisance. Another Templar I willingly lifted my skirts for. Instead of protecting myself I was protecting you.

“It truly wasn’t horrible to begin with. Red and a few guests. They’d take their pleasure and leave. I searched but never discovered anything. Then the nights got longer. More lyrium, more Templars, more orders. You’ll take both of them right now, you’re going to sit there quietly while I use you for a chamber pot, you’re going to be taking cock all night long, you’re going to suck my dick while you fuck yourself on this wine bottle. When I tried to say no the next time he showed up I was fucked by Templars for half the night and when I could barely move from that he let me know just how much say I didn’t have. If I didn’t let that dog fuck me I would have been killed on the spot and you would have been in the Gallows within the hour, Tranquil. What other choice could I have made?”

“Not gone through it alone?” Hawke said tightly.

“Hawke,” Anders said sitting up and turning to face him. “Please don’t think me ungrateful but you did exactly what I thought you would. Now we’re both hiding.”

“Only temporarily,” he replied. “If you had come to me after the first time I’m sure Varric could have found this person holding our secrets for him and there never would have been a second. That isn’t what matters now. We can’t change the past. I care about you.”

“Please don’t say that unless you truly mean it,” Anders said dropping his gaze to his lap. “I’m an abomination, I’m addicted to putting lyrium up my arse and I couldn’t stand any sort of relationship now only to be left later because you felt sorry for me.”

“You know,” Hawke sighed. “I really don’t know which of you is more frustrating. I haven’t given up yet and I’m certainly not going to now. Whether you want to get romantically involved or not, you are my friend and I care about you a great deal. Right now, I just want to help.”

Anders nodded unsure of what to say. Hawke gripped his shoulder and smiled slightly before moving back to his bedroll. He lay down and stared at the ceiling for a while before he drifted off once more. When he woke in the morning Justice was clamoring for more but Anders ignored him in favor of his stomach. Anders had skipped all meals yesterday and he was ravenous.

He was alone in the small bedroom. Hoping breakfast wouldn’t be awkward he walked to the partially opened door and stepped through. The sight of King sitting next to Hawke stopped him in his tracks. Aveline and Merrill were clustered around him as well, all of their attention on a sheet of parchment Hawke held. King glanced at him and barked up at Hawke.

“It looks like we’re going to be on the Wounded Coast for a while,” Hawke said as he looked up. “Red went back to Gallows so Varric needs some time to find whoever’s going to out me.”


	10. Chapter 10

Anders had been hiding in a cave on the Wounded Coast for two and a half days now. In that time the only other person he saw was Hawke and of course King. As Justice’s demands became louder and more insistent so did his own cravings. He did his best to plead and ignore but rather than risk Justice getting to the ranting demanding phase Anders gave in. Watching Hawke become increasingly more concerned didn’t help him resist as much as he’d hoped it would.

Since he really didn’t want Hawke to catch him or even see him afterwards Anders waited until he was asleep. As quietly as he could he took the bottle of lyrium he’d taken to bed with him and moved further up the cave, far enough that Hawke wouldn’t see but not far enough he’d disturb King sleeping by the entrance. He pushed his pants and small clothes down to his knees, pulled his shirt up to his armpits and lay on his side on the cold stone ground facing the front of the cave.

Carefully he poured the lyrium onto his fingers and worked the liquid into his arse. Instead of half the bottle Anders used the whole thing hoping he could last twice as long next time. For the fifteen minutes he spent carefully coating his entrance he kept thinking there had to be an easier way to do it. While he lay there, the cravings only partially sated but Justice a silent happy knot of emotion, and waited for the fuzzy feeling to go away, he thought about it.

The bottles only held about four ounces of lyrium which was normally plenty for a mana boost. The bottoms of the bottles were wide but tapered to a narrow neck that he could just fit a finger in. It wouldn’t take much to insert the neck of the bottle into his arse. The wide bottom would prevent it from getting stuck inside of him completely and he could just lay there on his stomach and let gravity do the work.

He would look ridiculous of course but there would be none wasted on his fingers or around his entrance. From past experience Anders also knew he wouldn’t bother to remove the bottle until the immediate high was gone. If Hawke saw him lying face down with a bottle of lyrium protruding from his arse, Anders would be mortified. Anders was certain Hawke wouldn’t like that he was doing it at all but keeping Justice mollified was better than the alternative, which would likely end with him feeling fuzzy for hours and trembling for days.

Cursing Red for doing this to him in the first place as he cleaned his hands and arse, Anders decided that he’d definitely be trying this method next time even if there was a possibility of getting caught. He tossed the soiled rag aside and wearily pushed himself to his feet. His small clothes went up without a problem but lacing his trousers was proving difficult. Anders pulled them tight and shuffled back to their camp. The fire had burned down considerably but there was enough light to see that Hawke was sitting up.

“There you are,” he said in obvious relief. “I was just about to go find you.”

“I’m fine,” Anders said trying to sound reassuring. He sat on his bedroll and pulled his pack over to drop the empty bottle inside. “Just… had to take care of something.”

“Can we talk about this yet?” Hawke asked gently.

“Not… not right now,” Anders sighed. “Maybe in the morning. I just… want to sleep it off.”

“All right,” said Hawke lying back down on his bedroll.

Anders curled up under his blanket and stared at the remains of the fire until he finally fell asleep. Hawke was up first and had a simple breakfast ready before waking him. They ate the crusty bread and porridge in silence, Hawke looking as concerned as he had the previous day and Anders desperately trying to avoid that gaze. So far he’d refused to discuss the addiction and he still didn’t particularly want to talk about it.

Hawke had already told him that he wanted to help Anders quit but he saw no realistic way to do it. If Justice didn’t get a fix every so often Anders was afraid that he’d take control and over indulge like a child in a room full of sweets. He didn’t know what damage the dangerous liquid had done to him already but building up a tolerance through overuse would definitely speed up the process.

Breakfast was cleared away and cleaned up before Hawke broached the subject. “Can we talk?”

“What’s there to talk about?” Anders said morosely. “I know I have to stop. I want to stop. I hate what it does. It’s like trying to wade through waist deep mud with half of your brain shut off. Justice doesn’t want to quit and I have no will power over him when the cravings get really bad.”

“There must be a way,” Hawke said scooting over to sit beside him. “If I stayed with you, helped you through the worst of it…”

“No,” said Anders shaking his head emphatically. “He’ll take control. He’s very dangerous and will do anything to anyone.”

“You can’t know that,” said Hawke.

“You don’t have to listen to him,” said Anders with a shudder. “Insistent, unreasonable. It’s difficult to resist anyway but with Justice ranting and whining… it’s too much. If I don’t give in he’ll take control. Better to try and regulate it.”

“Then we need to deal with Justice,” Hawke said contemplatively. “Is there any way to separate you without you dying?”

“Not that I’m aware of,” Anders said. “There’s no guarantee that my death would separate us anyway. He might just set up camp in my corpse.”

“We need more information,” said Hawke after a brief pause. “I’ll ask Merrill to take us to her Keeper. We can search through books. I wonder if any of the mages in the Gallows might know something that would help us.”

“It wouldn’t hurt to try I suppose,” Anders said with a shrug. “Let’s go collect some wood.”

Hawke smiled tightly and nodded. They rose and walked towards the entrance. King set the bone he’d been gnawing on aside and stood to follow them. Having been around the mabari for a couple of days Anders had almost grown used to the tight clench of his stomach. He still kept Hawke between them however.

They spent half the morning gathering driftwood and branches from dead bushes. Anders was enjoying the temporary peace in his head as well as the simplicity of his task. When their woodpile was stocked Anders took their canteens to the nearby stream. There was plenty of food in the packs Hawke had brought from the hovel but they only had four water canteens that needed to be filled daily.

This area of the coast wasn’t well traveled. There hadn’t been a single soul on the overgrown path since they’d been here so he was paying more attention to what he was doing than what was going on around him. It was very surprising when something large and furry bowled him over and began licking his face. Anders cried out in surprise, dropping the full canteen he’d been screwing closed.

“Get off,” he yelled irritably pushing at the animal.

There was a flurry of tan fur, a pair of familiar growls followed by barking and someone looming over him before he could get his bearings and figure out what was going on. Fenris was standing in front of him crouched and ready to attack, watching two dogs not far away. King was growling, barking and snapping at the other one, another very familiar dog. Hawke had come running up the path that led to their cave and now stood watching them as well.

“Fenris what’s going on?” Hawke asked as the strange dog yielded to King.

“I came to give you an update,” he said turning around and offering Anders a hand. “Are you always so oblivious to danger?”

Anders scowled at him but took his hand. He was pulled upright and he backed away a few steps. The dog that he was positive Fenris had brought with him was lying on the ground in front of King, belly exposed. As he watched King circled the dog and finally sat licking his muzzle placidly. As the dog rolled over Anders was positive this was the dog Red had tricked into violating him. Reminding himself that Dozer was also a victim of the sadistic Templar he backed away a few more steps and tried to keep his voice from trembling.

“Why is that dog with you?” he said failing to keep his voice even.

“I had little choice,” Fenris said disgustedly. “Bodahn ordered me to get rid of him but we may need him still.”

“Bodahn?” said Hawke in confusion. “Where did this dog come from and why did you leave him at my house?”

“The Templar had this animal with him when he came to the clinic,” said Fenris. “He doesn’t belong to Red and we spared him thinking he might belong to whoever is protecting him. I seem to be the only person he behaves for.”

“You mean this is the dog that…” Hawke began.

“Yes,” said Fenris when he trailed off. “And it seems that he recognizes Anders.”

“You’re not going to leave him here are you?” Anders asked. He swallowed hard and stared at Dozer who seemed to be inching his way forward.

“I don’t know what to do with him,” Fenris said. “I don’t want him either but he only seems to obey me.”

“You probably smell familiar,” Hawke said calmly. “All that lyrium in your skin. Let’s get away from the road.”

Anders scooted around Fenris to gather the canteens, watching Dozer. King snarled and nipped at his feet when he tried to move away from him. Dozer whined and followed King down the path, his head low and his tail between his legs. He followed Fenris down the path with trepidation.


	11. Chapter 11

Hawke sunk down in front of the cave and Anders sat down just inside it. King settled uncomfortably close but Anders preferred him over Dozer. Fenris sunk down in front of Hawke and sighed when Dozer crowded him.

“Varric hasn’t discovered anything yet,” said Fenris irritably scooting a short distance away. “No one has been asking about him either.”

“Maybe you should be looking for an ex-Templar,” Hawke said looking at Dozer. “What exactly did he do to my house?”

“Tore up the curtains and bed spread in one of the guest rooms,” Fenris said flatly. “Relieved himself in the middle of the floor whenever your mother was near. Broke four vases when Bodahn tried to get him into the cellar. Knocked over his water dish multiple times.”

King growled when Fenris paused to take a breath. Hawke reached across him and rubbed at a furry shoulder. “I’m almost sorry I asked,” he muttered. “Why did you decide to leave him at my house?”

“Where else were we supposed to keep him?” Fenris said. “Merrill refused after he chewed up the bed spread and the rest of us don’t live in a place good for pets. I have been to your estate more times in the last three days than the last three months. I wish…”

“Please don’t hurt him,” Anders blurted quickly. He flushed to the roots of his hair when they turned disbelieving gazes on him. Even King looked amazed. “He… he put something on my back. Said it… was to encourage him to… to…” Anders shook his head and forced the word out. “Mount. If he needed encouragement then…”

“Maybe they were still in the process of… training him,” Hawke said with a disgusted grimace. “He does seem rather young.”

“That would explain some of his behavior,” Fenris said. “It does not explain why he went straight for Anders long before we saw him or what I’m going to do with him.”

Anders scooted further back into the cave hoping they wouldn’t come to the same conclusion he had. It would be easiest for Fenris to leave Dozer here. There was nothing for him to destroy out here and very few places that couldn’t be considered a privy. Anders didn’t want to harm Dozer especially if there was any possibility of retraining him. That didn’t mean he wanted to be anywhere near the dog when it happened.

“I suppose I will have some cleaning to do,” Fenris said after an uncomfortable silence.

He couldn’t hold in his sigh of relief. Hawke gripped his shoulder briefly and Fenris glared at Dozer. He whined and rested his head on Fenris’ knee. Fenris sighed and patted the dog’s head.

“What about Red?” Hawke asked quietly.

“Unconscious in the Gallows infirmary,” Fenris said smugly. “Carver reported that he barely managed to make it to the courtyard before passing out. There have also been no whispers of apostates in Kirkwall either.”

“Tell Varric to focus on someone who might be involved with lyrium somehow,” Hawke said nodding. “Templars, smugglers, Maker forbid a mage even. I can give you some tips that might help you deal with Dozer’s awful behavior.”

“You have enough supplies?” Fenris asked.

“Yes,” Hawke said standing up. “Stay with Anders, King.”

Fenris stood along with Dozer. He wrapped a hand around his collar as Hawke headed off towards the path that would eventually take him back to Kirkwall. The elf hesitated, looking directly at Anders. That gaze had once held suspicion, scorn and plenty of hate. All he saw now was concern. Anders stood and stepped out of the cave, smiling tentatively.

“Thank you,” he said softly.

“You’re welcome,” Fenris replied with a small smile.

Dozer stretched, trying to reach Anders with his nose. Fenris yanked back savagely on his collar when King growled. Anders skittered away from both dogs nervously. Dozer whined again but didn’t put up a fuss when Fenris led him away, muttering obscenities under his breath. Hawke waited a short distance away and Anders went back into the cave, King following a short distance away.

*

“There’s something else I need you to do,” Hawke said quietly when Fenris joined him. “We need to find a way to separate Anders and Justice.”

“Didn’t he claim that it couldn’t be done?” said Fenris frowning.

“He did but we need to separate them,” said Hawke. “Otherwise he won’t even try to stop using lyrium.”

“The demon is addicted as well?” Fenris said his frown deepening.

“That’s what he says. He’s afraid Justice will take over, that he’ll hurt anyone who gets in his way.”

“What do you want me to do?”

“Tell Merrill and ask her to start looking.” Hawke scowled at his feet for a moment. “Ask Carver to see what he can dig up. As much as I hate to ask, he’s the only conduit for information from the circle.”

“I will ask them. What about Dozer?”

“Be firm but gentle. It’s best to catch him doing something so he knows what behavior is wrong. Don’t hit him. You might want to find a bone or a large chunk of raw hide he can chew on rather than the furniture.”

“I never wanted a pet,” Fenris said sourly. “What are we going to do with him after?”

“I’ll keep him,” said Hawke. “We don’t want to give him to someone else if he’s going to mount them. King has already asserted his dominance. Has he tried anything… inappropriate?”

“Not that I’ve seen,” he replied. “He seems to be a normal, if badly behaved, dog.”

“Good luck with him,” Hawke said. “I hope you find this other person soon.”

“We will,” Fenris said confidently. “Be careful Hawke.”

Hawke smiled, clapped him on the shoulder and walked back down the path. Fenris started off towards Kirkwall but didn’t let go of Dozer’s collar until they were well away from the cave. He immediately trotted ahead, tail wagging and following interesting scents until Fenris called him back to the road.

While he kept an eye on his furry charge Fenris thought. It was disturbing that Dozer had gone straight for Anders, like he was familiar to the dog. There would be no answers until they found Red’s cohort however. Red would likely die from the injuries Fenris had inflicted despite the best efforts of the Gallows healers so there would be no information from him.

He also thought about Anders and who else he might ask to help. Varric could be trusted and might be able to get a hold of some tomes he could bring to Hawke so that they could search through them. Fenris walked a little faster, eager to get the tasks done.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea if what I'm proposing/hinting at in this chapter is possible. I'm going to do that little handwave trick and say it's possible for the purposes of this story. I think it's plausible at least and it's sort of important for the rest of the story. Hope you don't mind too much.

Four days later Fenris stood in a Lowtown slum with Varric and Isabela. Dozer was straining at his collar, eager to be let go. The sun was nearing the horizon and few people were out.

“Are we ready?” Fenris said glancing at his companions.

“Let’s hope this lead pans out,” Varric said. “Dozer seems to find this area familiar at least.”

“”Let him go sweet thing,” Isabela said. “The worst thing he’ll lead us to is another elfroot plant.”

“Better than bad poetry,” Varric muttered.

Fenris let go of the collar and Dozer tore off through the streets. They hurried after, barely able to keep his hind quarters in view. They had done this twice before. Dozer hadn’t seemed very excited previously and Fenris was hopeful.

Dozer raced through the streets, stopping to sniff at something every now and then. He ran around a corner and up the stairs to one of the upper level houses. Fenris climbed the stairs watching him pace in front of the door. He shoved Dozer aside and turned the knob.

“Locked,” he said.

“Allow me,” said Varric coming up behind him.

He held Dozer back while the dwarf picked the lock. Isabela drew her daggers and watched the street behind them. Varric stood up and pushed open the door. Fenris let go of Dozer and he surged forward. When there was no shouting or exclamations they followed him inside.

It was dim in the main room, the only light coming from the low burning fire. Isabela glanced around and headed for the back bedroom. Fenris headed for the room to his right. This room was darker and he lit his markings. Dozer was pawing at a pile of cloth on the floor in the far corner. Fenris carefully moved closer, noticing the rest of the room was basically empty.

The closer to Dozer he got the wider his eyes became. Potted plants lined the walls of the corner. He only knew the names of a couple but he’d watched Anders and Hawke pick all of them more times than he cared to remember. Dozer straightened and trotted towards him with something in his mouth.

“Give it,” Fenris said kneeling down in front of him. Dozer whined and backed away a little. He held out a hand and repeated firmly, “Give it.”

Reluctantly Dozer dropped the bundle of cloth into his hand and sat watching him intently. Fenris grimaced at the slightly wet fabric as he turned it over in his hands. It was a rag doll with short yellow yarn for hair, a simple stitched face and dressed in white and teal linens. His mouth dropped open in shock when he realized the doll was a reasonable facsimile of Anders.

“That’s creepy,” Varric said suddenly from behind him.

“It looks like Anders is missing half of his closet,” Isabela said holding up an unmistakable shirt from the pile of cloth.

“Did you find anything in the other rooms?” Fenris asked.

“We need your glowiness to see what we’re looking at,” Isabela said. “What is this? A little shrine to Anders?”

“The plants, the clothes, that creepy doll,” Varric said tersely. “How long have these bastards been planning this?”

Fenris shut his mouth with a click of teeth and looked at Dozer. If they thought this was a shrine then he wouldn’t try to dissuade them. He suspected this was where Dozer had slept since he was weaned. The clothing had likely been replaced more than once to keep his scent fresh, the doll a constant companion. Dozer whined softly and stepped forward, his large muzzle heading towards Fenris’ hand. He let Dozer have it and stood.

“Who’s here?” a masculine voice called out from the other room.

Dozer seemed torn, looking from Fenris to the door and back. Fenris let the markings go dark and stood quietly next to Dozer, one hand resting on the mastiff’s broad head. Varric pulled Bianca and moved back into the shadows. Isabela moved quietly to one side of the door, a dagger drawn. The man couldn’t have missed the blue glow of his markings and its sudden disappearance. Sure enough moments later a lantern flared to life in the other room. The light moved closer, toward where he and Dozer stood.

“I believe I have found your missing dog,” Fenris said evenly.

“Who are you?” he asked holding the lantern out in front of him, stopping in the doorway. “Where did you get him? Come here Dozer.”

“Sit,” said Fenris firmly leaning to push on his rear end slightly. After a moment Dozer sat.

“Who are you?” the man repeated stepping into the room.

Suddenly the man stiffened and a dagger appeared at his throat, Isabela just visible over one shoulder.

“I’m more interested in what you know,” Isabela said casually.

“And where you keep your secrets,” Varric said stepping forward into the circle of light cast by the lantern. Bianca was aimed at him, Varric’s finger hovering over the trigger.

“I told him it was crazy,” said the man quickly. The lantern trembled in his hand. “Told Reginald that he would find out. Wouldn’t stand for it.”

“Reginald would be the Templar most commonly called Red?” Varric asked.

“Yeah,” he said nervously. “My cousin. I didn’t do nothing to your friend.”

“Complicity, participating in blackmail, training this dog,” Fenris snarled stepping forward. “You are far from guiltless.”

“Where are the papers,” Isabela said pressing her dagger into his flesh.

“In… ah… the back room,” he replied quickly. “Desk. Bottom drawer.”

“Varric,” said Isabela.

He put Bianca away and squeezed past Isabela and Red’s cousin.

“Please don’t hurt me,” he begged. “I just wanted the lyrium.”

“What were you thrown out for?” Fenris asked taking another step forward.

“They said I raped a girl in Cumberland. I didn’t. She didn’t say no. Just bent over.”

Fenris plucked the lantern from his hand and backed away. “If someone is not allowed to say no the act is still rape.”

“Got it!” Varric yelled from the other room.

“Any more copies?” Isabela said angrily.

“No. Just that one. Let me go. Please. I promise I’ll leave.”

“So you can go somewhere else and start again? I don’t think so.” Fenris said stepping off to the side. “Come over here Dozer.”

He stood indecisive for a moment. His weight shifted and he looked back and forth. With his doll hanging out of his mouth Dozer walked over and sat close. Without another word Isabela mercilessly sliced open his neck and threw him to the side.

“Let’s get out of here,” she said coldly. “I need a drink.”

Fenris blew out the lantern and followed her out with Dozer trotting beside him. Varric joined them and closed the door behind him, the precious papers they’d come for tucked securely under one arm.

“To the Hanged Man,” he said. “I’m buying.”

Knowing what he did about Dozer and what he now suspected had been intended, Fenris thought that man had gotten off too easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost hate posting stuff this late at night. (It's almost 2 a.m. here) I don't like it showing up halfway down the first page when I know it was posted after half of the fics up there but I can deal with it. The second page though? Really? =/


	13. Chapter 13

Carver stopped by Fenris’ mansion early the next morning. He reported that Red had died during the night, never regaining consciousness. There were also no rumors of Hawke being an apostate. With both conspirators dead and no rumors, there was no reason for Hawke and Anders to stay out on the Wounded Coast. Fenris had started off mid-morning after a restless night of trying not to look at the doll Dozer kept near his chosen corner of Fenris’ room.

The journey to them was uneventful. When he neared the overgrown path Fenris kept a tight grip on Dozer’s collar to prevent him from surprising Anders like he had last time. He called out to them as he neared the cave. Only Anders answered. Fenris found him sitting just inside the entrance, knees close to his chest, arms wrapped tightly around them and staring blankly at the sea not too far away.

“Are you all right?” Fenris asked still keeping a tight hold on Dozer.

“Five days,” he whispered. “I thought I could push it to six… but I can’t.”

“Where is Hawke?” Fenris knelt a little ways away and pushed on Dozer’s hindquarters as he said, “Sit.”

Dozer sat, stretching a little as he sniffed the air. Fenris dared to let go of his collar and Dozer stayed seated. Anders merely glanced at him before turning a tortured gaze on him.

“Gathering wood. I don’t want him to see… would you… please Fenris.”

“I will prevent him from entering,” he said softly.

“Thank you.”

Anders staggered to his feet and hurried into the dark cave. Fenris took his place in front of it to wait. Dozer grew bored quickly and began wandering but Fenris turned him away whenever he got close to the cave. After around ten minutes King appeared out of the brush followed quickly by Hawke, his arms loaded with wood. King sat to one side of the cave entrance and watched Dozer as he wandered through the little clearing.

“Hello Fenris,” said Hawke somewhat cheerfully. “Do you have any news?”

“Good and bad,” he replied.

He watched Hawke follow Dozer around with his eyes a moment and then peer into the cave behind him. “Anders is in there isn’t he?” Hawke said with a worried frown.

“He is,” Fenris said calmly. “He does not wish you to see him.”

Hawke sighed and dropped his load of wood to the ground. He sat next to it and stared dejectedly into the cave behind Fenris. “I don’t think less of him. I’m just… very concerned.”

“You are… important to him,” said Fenris carefully. “My opinion doesn’t matter and I’ve seen him… high… twice before. Anders might not appreciate it but… I could watch him. To make sure he is all right.”

“That would ease my mind considerably,” said Hawke gratefully.

“Make sure Dozer stays out,” said Fenris as he stood.

The cave turned dark quickly but Fenris stayed next to the wall and kept going. A good ways in he saw Anders lying face down on his bedroll with a wisp hovering nearby. When he got closer Fenris saw that his pants were pushed down to his knees and his shirt rucked up to his armpits, a glass bottle sticking up from his backside. Anders turned his head as Fenris sat and snorted.

“You must like seeing me slow and stupid,” he said sluggishly. “Couldn’t figure out how to tie up my pants last time.”

“Do you ever stop talking?” Fenris asked irritably. He reached over and carefully pulled the empty bottle from his arse, setting it aside as Anders rolled to his side.

“Rarely,” Anders said after a long pause. “Thank you. I didn’t want to lie on my stomach. It worked though.” He held up his hands and wiggled his fingers. “No mess.”

“Wonderful,” said Fenris flatly.

“Grump,” Anders muttered letting his arms fall to the ground. “Why are you here?”

“I came to tell you that’s it’s safe to…”

“No. Why are you _in here?_ ”

“Hawke… we… are concerned.”

“We?” Anders pushed himself up on one hand. “You actually began this… saving me because you’re concerned about me?”

“Not at first. I wanted to know why you had changed. Why you began rejecting him completely. If you were hurting him out of some… twisted scheme. So I waited outside the clinic. Listened at the door while you were raped by five Templars. I was unprepared or I might have tried to stop them then.”

Anders face scrunched up in concentration. “That would have been the first time you walked in after they left. When Red wanted me to fuck his girlfriend.” He snorted and sunk back down. “Four Templars that night. Followed by a spanking then being screwed by a large wine bottle while I pleased her with just my tongue. She left happy. They always did.”

Silence fell for a moment then Anders rose up on an elbow, his expression somewhere between puzzled and offended. “How did you know I was faking it? I happen to know I can be pretty convincing.”

“I am well acquainted with the concept. I also heard you begging…”

“I didn’t want him to bring the dog.” Anders sunk down again and shuffled around to his back. “He brought Dozer anyway. Otherwise you wouldn’t be stuck with him.”

“He helped us find the Templar’s cohort.”

“And he can be taught not to fuck humans now. I guess it all worked out for him.” He shuddered and rolled to his side again. “He got off on watching. Jerked off in my face afterwards. I wish I’d just bent over for him and his buddies.”

“You would have been forced to let Dozer mount you eventually.”

“What makes you so sure?”

“I will tell you when you can come back outside. I don’t want to tell it more than once.”

Anders rolled to his back again after another brief pause. He pulled at his shirt and stared up at the roof. “I wonder how many Templars I’ve had up my arse now. He wasn’t the first one you know. I started early… lifting my skirts for favors in the Tower. It was easy to get what you wanted as long as you knew who to tempt. Never thought I’d be a prime Templar whore with no choice what so ever. I would have preferred being locked up with my arse in the air and fucked by anyone who wandered by rather than becoming a dog’s bitch.”

Fenris was uncomfortable with the direction this conversation had taken. He didn’t know what to say or do so he sat still and said nothing, studiously avoiding looking at Anders’ naked lower half. Anders fell silent and continued to stare at the roof. They passed ten quiet minutes that way.

“I think I can walk now,” Anders said softly. “You might need to help me with my pants. I really couldn’t tie them last time.”

Fenris nodded and stood, offering Anders his hand. While he pulled up his small clothes Fenris pulled off his gauntlets, watching his hands tremble. They were shaking pretty badly. It was no wonder he hadn’t been able to tie up his trousers last time.

“How much?” Fenris asked tucking his gauntlets under his arm.

“Just one bottle,” he said bending over to pull up his pants.

“How much did you have the last time I saw you like this?”

“Three.”

“Anders… there isn’t much difference.”

“I know.”

“Hawke said that…”

“Justice is the problem. I just… don’t know what to do about him.”

“They search for a way to… separate you,” Fenris said leaning over slightly to tie the laces. “I can’t help with that.”

“Fen…”

“We are not discussing my short comings,” he interrupted tersely. “Maybe I can help you resist.”

“I… How?” Anders said cautiously.

“I don’t know,” Fenris said straightening as he backed away. He held out his hand palm up and let his markings flare briefly. “But… I’m covered in it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the cliffhanger. Think of it as a dramatic pause.


	14. Chapter 14

Anders wasn’t sure what was more shocking. That Fenris still seemed to want to help or how he was offering that help. It only took him a moment of thought to decide however. Justice was quiet and happy now but he felt terrible, weak and jittery. There was also a deep want to dig in his pack for another bottle. Anders nodded, willing to try almost anything to stave off the next desperate fix.

Fenris led the way and Anders followed slowly after putting the empty bottle in his pack. He really wanted a nap but he knew Fenris hadn’t come all the way out here to watch him come down from the lyrium. King was lying by the entrance and Dozer was a little ways away with his nose among the brush at the edge of the path. Hawke was seated across from the cave entrance looking concerned.

“How do you feel?” he asked anxiously.

“Better and worse,” Anders said with a shrug. He lowered himself to the ground next to Fenris and sighed.

Dozer’s head came up at the sound of their voices and he looked around. King sat up as he trotted towards them but Fenris placed a hand at his shoulder. His other hand gripped Anders’ forearm keeping him from backing away. Dozer paused, watching Fenris and King, then slowly walked forward.

“Fenris,” Anders said nervously the closer the big dog came.

“I don’t believe he will hurt you,” said Fenris evenly.

“I doubt he’s worried about being bitten,” Hawke said watching them closely.

“That is also not possible at the moment,” Fenris said. “I just wish to see what he does.”

Anders stiffened and Dozer crouched, inching his way forward until his nose was touching Anders’ thigh. He scooted a little closer and sniffed, his muzzle coming to rest on top of Anders’ leg.

“What’s he doing?” Anders asked failing once more to keep his voice from trembling.

“I think he wants a pet,” Hawke said in amazement. “You didn’t react well to kisses.”

“Nice doggy,” said Anders tentatively patting the top of his head. “Now go away.” Dozer inched closer, a paw replacing his muzzle and his nose coming up towards his face, tail thumping the ground rapidly. Anders leaned back on his hands and said loudly, “I said go away not come closer! Hawke, Fenris!”

“Dozer,” Fenris said firmly. “Go sit.”

He whined but sat up, no longer touching him but not moving away either. Anders scooted a little closer to Fenris and watched Dozer, his tail still and looking a bit like Anders had just hurt his feelings.

“What did you find Fenris?” Hawke asked watching Dozer intently.

“Varric found rumors of a Templar that had been thrown out of the order,” said Fenris letting go of Anders’ forearm. “We went to the area where he was sighted most often and Dozer led us straight to the house. He wasn’t home so Varric picked the lock. Dozer went straight to the place I believe he slept. His bed was a bunch of Anders’ clothing. The walls above held potted herbs that you pick and use in abundance. He has a rag doll, made to look like Anders. Its clothes were probably made from something you wore. It is probably stuffed with a sock or one of the bandages you keep wound around your arm, possibly feathers.”

“Maker’s Breath,” Hawke whispered in shock.

“He has a doll?” Anders said in confusion. “How did they get my clothes? And the herbs… why?”

“To familiarize him with your scent,” Hawke said.

“He must not have been fully trained,” Fenris said disgustedly. “I believe they wanted Dozer to see you as his. Whatever it was the Templar put on your back is what made him mount but eventually he would have been trained to mount every time you were in the right position.”

“Oh Maker,” said Hawke disgustedly. “Please tell me you found this man and killed him?”

“Isabela slit his throat,” said Fenris evenly. “Red has also died. Carver told me this morning he never regained consciousness.”

“That’s nice,” Anders said staring at Dozer and only half listening. “What about Dozer? What am I to him now? He’s done it once. He even got a little possessive. He growled at Red when we were… tied together.”

“I don’t know,” said Fenris. “He seems to just want your approval.”

“He won’t do it again,” Hawke said firmly. “Even if I have to breed him I’ll make sure he knows the difference between a man and a bitch. We won’t leave you alone with him Anders.”

Anders took a deep breath and nodded. “Can we go home now? I wouldn’t mind a bath and some proper food.”

“It should be safe,” Fenris said. “There are no whispers of Apostates and Varric has the papers.”

“Let’s get going,” Hawke said as he stood. “Maybe we’ll make it home for supper.”

It didn’t take long to gather their things. Anders was so eager to be home he ended up walking ahead. King kept pace with him but after so many days alone with him and Hawke he hardly noticed King’s presence. He watched Dozer closely however. Dozer followed his nose from one side of the path to the other, head down snuffling and his tail up and wagging. If he wandered too far Fenris would call to him and he’d come bounding back only to have the cycle repeat itself.

The only dogs Anders had been around for more than a few minutes were both mabari, King and Warden Commander Cousland’s dog. Neither of them had ever acted like this. Most of the dogs he’d come across were normally snarling at him for one reason or another. He watched for a few more minutes and then slowed to let Hawke and Fenris catch up.

“Is this normal?” he asked.

“Dozer?” Fenris said.

“Yes,” Anders replied. “All the running around. It’s like he has no attention span.”

“He’s still a pup,” Hawke said. “One who has been cooped up in a room with a bunch of potted plants and a couple of sick bastards for company. It’s no wonder…”

“You mean he’s going to get bigger?” Anders interrupted in shock.

“Maybe a little,” Hawke answered. “I can’t be sure but I’d guess he’s somewhere between a year and a half to two years.”

They walked on in silence for a while, Anders thinking deeply about everything he’d learned today. How long had Red known about Anders and Hawke? It had to be long enough for him to have found a dog that looked like King but was young enough to be easily trained. How had he been stealing his clothing all that time for Dozer to sleep in?

“Maybe I shouldn’t go home,” Anders said frowning.

“The other Templars know where your clinic is,” Hawke said after a moment of thought. “Do they know you’re a mage?”

“Not likely,” said Anders. “That was one of his rules. No magic unless he was alone. If Dozer has been sleeping on my clothes who’s been stealing them?”

“Makers Breath,” Hawke said in horror. “We might have a third accomplice?”

“Perhaps an urchin paid to take without being told why,” Fenris suggested.

“We need to find out,” said Hawke. “Maybe you should stay with me for a while.”

“He could stay with me,” Fenris said nervously. Hawke gave him an incredulous look and he flushed. “If you can’t separate them who is stealing his shirts won’t matter.”

“Are you sure Fenris?” Hawke asked in concern.

“Yes,” he replied. “I can’t help you search. I may be able to help him resist.”

Hawke looked between them and focused on Anders. “Are you okay with this?”

“Yes,” Anders said softly. “He might be able to give you more time to look.”

“What about Dozer?” Fenris asked.

“I’ll take him,” Hawke said. “King can help keep him in line.”


	15. Chapter 15

Living with Fenris so far had proved to be interesting. The rest of the mansion was as filthy as ever but the room he lived in had been cleaned. The furniture still stood at odd angles but the floor was relatively clear. Dozer didn’t seem too happy about being left with Hawke but there hadn’t been any major incidents. Anders thought the doll he seemed very attached to had been extremely creepy.

Anders had spent the first night on the floor. A bed had been moved in for him on the second day. Most of the time in between Anders spent going through a book Hawke had brought over and trying not to annoy and be annoyed by Fenris. Hawke had popped in more than once to make sure they hadn’t killed each other. There had been a lot of glaring and quite a few arguments but no violence.

Magic and mages in general were avoided as a topic of conversation. Anders was grateful for his help so far and had no desire to aggravate him enough to be thrown out. Not trying to change his opinion in general took quite a bit of effort. They also hadn’t discussed how Fenris might help him resist Justice and the cravings. Four days of being in constant close proximity to him didn’t seem to have helped much.

Now that Justice was becoming insistent and his cravings were ramping up he was starting to wish that they had. Anders had tried to continue reading but he just couldn’t concentrate. He was too anxious to sleep and he didn’t really want to disturb Fenris by pacing. His earlier attempt at putting himself to sleep by tugging off had failed miserably. While pleasant, it hadn’t had the desired effect. Anders was resigned to a night of tossing, turning and staring up at the sky through the hole in the roof while having arguments with his head mate when Fenris appeared over him.

“You are worse than the dog with your constant shuffling,” he said irritably.

“Let’s see how well you sleep with Justice wheedling and your body demanding something it shouldn’t want,” Anders snapped. He rolled over onto his side, facing away from Fenris.

After some annoyed muttering Fenris sat on his bed. “What should I do?”

“Well,” said Anders flatly. “You could try sticking your fingers up my arse.”

“Err… Is there something else?” Fenris asked uncomfortably.

“I don’t know,” Anders sighed. “I could hold out longer if Justice would just… shut up.”

Justice grew louder, insisting that he would be quiet if Anders would just give in. Anders groaned softly and curled up tightly, starting a mental mantra of the word no. Behind him Fenris began muttering again. The blanket was lifted away from his back and he felt hands hesitantly touching him.

“Go ahead,” said Anders softly.

Fenris’ began rubbing lightly, along his back, across his shoulders, down his arm. He could feel a slight tingle from the lyrium imbedded into his hands. Hopeful Anders rolled to his stomach. After a few minutes Fenris straddled his thighs and the rubbing turned into pressing and kneading. It wasn’t doing much to satisfy the cravings but he was becoming so relaxed it was easier to ignore Justice. Eventually the spirit fell into a sullen silence and Anders fell asleep with Fenris still perched over him.

*

He wasn’t sure exactly when Anders had fallen asleep. Fenris knelt over him for a while, watching him. Carefully he climbed off and went back to his own bed. When he turned to sit down Anders had curled up on his side again. Fenris watched for a while longer but he seemed peaceful. He lay down and stared up at the sky for a while, thinking. Fenris had known that he might end up with his fingers inside of Anders. He wasn’t very thrilled with the idea and it seemed that Anders wasn’t very excited about it either. There had to be other possibilities, different things to try. Without knowing if it would actually work Fenris would exhaust those other possibilities first. He didn’t want to subject either of them to that indignity if it wasn’t necessary.

Eventually he fell asleep still trying to think of different things to try. He was woken later, the sky still dark, by whimpering. Sleepily he sat up and saw that Anders had become very restless. The blanket had been twisted and wrapped around him, the pillow pushed off the other side. Anders made constant soft distressed sounds, his arms and legs weakly jerking back and forth.

From extended excursions with Hawke to Sundermount or the Wounded Coast he knew Anders did not generally sleep peacefully. Never had he heard the mage sound so distraught however. He stumbled out of bed and hurried over, not knowing quite what to do. Fenris tried rubbing his arm but it didn’t seem to make much difference. Frowning, he straightened surprised when Anders rolled towards him.

Anders whimpered again and curled up. Fenris hurried around the bed and crawled in behind him. He molded himself to the mage, carefully working an arm under his head and rubbing his arm. It took a surprisingly little amount of time for Anders to calm. Fenris held in a sigh and hoped he wouldn’t end up on the floor in the morning.

*

When Anders woke the first thing he noticed was the warm body wrapped around him. The second thing he noticed was Justice, not completely silent but not quite as insistent. There didn’t seem to be any change in his cravings. He cautiously moved his head enough to see Fenris’ arm resting on top of his. Anders thought back and remembered falling asleep while Fenris was massaging his back.

“Fenris,” said Anders shifting slightly. “Are you awake?”

“I am now,” he mumbled irritably.

“How did you… end up sleeping in my bed?”

“You woke me,” Fenris said sitting up. “You were having a nightmare or… something. If you were arguing with your demon I didn’t wish you to… lose. It seems to have worked.”

As much as Fenris’ choice of words annoyed him he chose to ignore it. He didn’t know exactly what was going on with Justice but he couldn’t deny that it just might be a little more accurate at this point. Fenris sat up, moving away from him completely and Justice was steadily becoming louder and just as demanding as he had been the night before. He held in a sigh and sat up.

“Thank you,” said Anders softly.

“You’re welcome,” Fenris said as he walked around the bed.

Anders watched him gather his clothes and pulled his knees up to his chest. Fenris touching him had allowed him to sleep all night but touching him all day long just wasn’t possible. At some point today he would stop resisting and end up face down on this bed if he couldn’t get him to agree to at least try rubbing around inside with those lyrium laced fingers. When he’d suggested it the night before Fenris had seemed extremely uncomfortable with the idea.

“Are you… feeling any better?” Fenris asked hesitantly as he pulled his shirt on.

“It was better when you were touching me,” Anders replied. “As soon as you got up though…”

Fenris frowned and began pacing. “Perhaps if we slept in the same bed every night.”

“I’m not opposed to the idea but…”

“But?”

“I don’t think it would help much now. He’s too loud. Too demanding.” Anders hid his face in his knees, his voice trembling slightly as he continued. “And I want it too badly to put up much of a fight.”

“There must be something,” Fenris said in frustration.

“Only one thing I can think of that might help the cravings,” said Anders calmly looking up at him.

“Something else.” He frowned and shook his head. “There must be something else.”

“Unless you’re willing to lie on top of me all day, which I wouldn’t ask of you anyway, I see no other way. Just being in the same room hasn’t helped.”

Fenris pulled his shirt off and dropped it to the floor. Anders watched in confusion as he moved across the room, twisting as he climbed on the bed behind him. He straightened Anders with hands at his shoulders and scooted closer until every bare inch of his back was pressed against Fenris’ chest. His arms snaked around his stomach, palms flat on his sides, chin resting on his shoulder. Justice was gradually becoming tolerable again.

“Better?” Fenris asked quietly.

“Yes but… we can’t sit like this all day.”

“I am aware of that. We must think of something else to try first. I will not violate you further unless I absolutely have to.”

Anders sat there stunned for a moment. “But… I suggested it…”

“And If I wasn’t covered in lyrium you wouldn’t have. Think Anders. While your mind is clear enough. There must be some other way.”


	16. Chapter 16

Anders was nervous about the alternative they had come up with. He knew what Fenris could do when he glowed and as miserable as his life had become he still didn’t really want to part with it. Fenris had assured him that he would be in no danger however. As nervous as he was he hoped it worked. He was hungry and he really needed to pee.

“Are you ready?” Fenris asked sounding annoyingly calm.

“Yes,” said Anders knowing how irritatingly nervous he sounded.

He did his best to relax against Fenris, his arms resting atop the elf’s in an attempt to ensure maximum exposure without pausing to take off their pants. Neither of them knew exactly what might happen but they hoped if Fenris activated the markings it would calm Justice, hopefully even when they weren’t touching. Anders didn’t have much hope that this crazy plan would diminish his own cravings but without Justice raging inside of him he was positive he could last longer.

“Be ready,” said Fenris.

The blue glow appeared moments later. He could almost feel the Fade everywhere their skin touched but Fenris was solid against his back and under his arms. Justice seemed to soak it in and he became quieter.

“I think it’s working,” Anders said a little more calmly.

“Good,” Fenris said. “Now let’s see if the demon will stay calm.”

“It would help if you’d stop calling him a demon,” said Anders wincing at the sharp spike of anger he felt from Justice.

“Will ‘it’ suffice?” Fenris said tightly.

“As long as you don’t say the d-word I don’t care,” Anders said. “Hurry up. I really need to pee.”

The glow died as Fenris snorted. Anders stood moments after he was released and hurried over to the chamber pot pulling at the drawstring on his sleep pants. His hands weren’t as steady as he would have liked and he knelt in front of the brass vase before letting his water flow. He couldn’t hold in a sigh of relief and heard another snort from Fenris. Neither of them spoke until he’d tucked himself away and turned.

“It?” Fenris asked from his position on the bed.

“Still quiet,” Anders said in relief.

“And you?”

“No change.”

Fenris cursed as he stood and began pacing.

“If we can keep Justice satisfied like this I’m sure I can hold out longer,” Anders said after a minute or so of watching him race between the beds.

“Long enough for Hawke to find what he seeks?” Fenris said stopping abruptly and turning to face him.

“Doubtful,” Anders sighed. “I appreciate everything you’ve done. Even after Hawke finds a way to separate Justice and I, if such a thing is possible, I’ll still have to deal with the cravings anyway. I promise I wouldn’t mind but if you truly don’t want your fingers near my arse then I won’t ask it of you. I’ll just… have to deal with it.”

He sighed and continued his track from one bed to the other. Anders crossed the room and sat on his bed legs crossed under him, and watched him pace for a while. Fenris eventually sat beside him, unhappy but determined. “Let’s see if it works at least.”

Silently Anders conjured grease and held out his hand. Fenris scooped it off and he wiped the excess on his pants. He rose up on his knees and pushed his pants down. Anders shifted until his arse was in the air and his head rested on his crossed arms. There was a tentative touch to his bare cheek followed by an annoyed huff and gentle pressure against his entrance.

“You don’t need to be so careful,” Anders said calmly. “I’ve had two rather well-endowed Templars up there multiple times with no preparation at all.”

“Hush,” he growled.

The gentle pressure continued and he eased two fingers past the tight ring of muscle. Slowly Fenris pushed past the second knuckle. Instead of thrusting, which Anders was used to, he twisted his fingers pressing against the walls. Anders bit his lip as Fenris somehow managed to hit that spot with every pass. While decidedly pleasant he couldn’t detect the lyrium burned into his fingers at all.

“Fenris I don’t…” he began when he was sure he wasn’t going to moan.

Anders was cut off by two quick raps on the door. Fenris’ markings flared as it flew open immediately after. He cried out at a sudden burst of pleasure before the fingers in his arse were quickly removed. Hawke was standing in the doorway his mouth dropped open in pure shock. Fenris had somehow made it to his own bed without seeming to have moved.

“This isn’t what it looks like,” Anders said fighting laughter as he pushed himself up onto his knees. He lost the battle when he realized that he’d need to change the sheets before he slept in the bed again. Even Dozer nudging past Hawke still standing in the doorway didn’t dampen his amusement.

“So what is it then?” Hawke asked cautiously following Dozer across the room.

“We were hoping that the lyrium in my hands would sate him without actually having to use the liquid,” Fenris answered when it was clear that Anders couldn’t.

“Did it work?” Hawke said after a moment. He had stopped next to Dozer in between the beds.

“Not a bit,” Anders managed between lingering giggles. Dozer started towards him but turned and trotted to Fenris after he called to him. He pulled up his pants and sat, careful to avoid the wet spot he’d made. “Andraste’s flaming knickers it sure felt good though.”

The look of horror that settled on Fenris before Dozer blocked his view only made Anders laugh harder. He wrapped his arms around his aching stomach and tried to get control before Fenris could get offended. Hawke still stood in between them looking back and forth at a complete loss for words.

“Dozer,” said Fenris in exasperation. “No licking.”

He shoved the mastiff’s head away from his face and ran a hand along his side. Dozer’s tail swished excitedly on the bed but he seemed content to rest his muzzle on Fenris’ shoulder while his sides were petted. Anders had managed to quell his laughter and watched while he tried to catch his breath. Hawke took a step towards him looking embarrassed.

“I’m sor…” Hawke began.

“No,” Anders said wearily holding up a hand. “Don’t apologize. Either of you. Honestly that was the most fun I’ve had with another person in years even if it was an accident.” He sighed and pulled his knees up to his chest craving lyrium through the rush of an unexpected orgasm and the warm feelings laughter always brought. “We wanted to know if it works and we found out.”

“What about Justice?” Hawke asked sitting next to him. He put an arm around his shoulders and Anders leaned into him, wrapping his own arms around his knees.

“We’ve discovered a way to sate its desire,” Fenris said watching as he absently scratched at Dozer still perched in his lap.

“That’s something at least,” said Hawke. “I came to give you some news. We’re chasing a promising lead that came from Knight-Captain Cullen.”

“Cullen?” Anders said incredulously pulling away and turning to stare at him.

“Through Carver of course,” Hawke said quickly. “I’m fairly certain he didn’t mention names. My brother is about as subtle as an ogre but he’s not stupid.”

Anders nodded and stiffened as he watched Dozer jump off of Fenris’ bed and cross the distance at a trot. He stopped within arms-length and sat, looking up at Anders intently. Hawke leaned over and scratched behind an ear. “Good boy,” he said warmly. Dozer’s tail thumped the floor a few times. Cautiously Anders reached out and scratched behind Dozer’s ear like Hawke had. His tail beat a quick staccato on the floor and Dozer stretched forward seeking more.

“Varric finally found some time to go through those papers you found,” Hawke said putting his arm back around Anders’ shoulders.

“What were they?” Fenris asked standing, watching Anders carefully pat Dozer’s head.

“An eye witness account,” Hawke said sounding suddenly grim.

“Of what?” Anders asked looking over at him.

“That night in the Chantry. When we went to find your friend Karl.”

“How is that possible?” said Anders in shock. “There was no one left.”

“I don’t know,” Hawke said frowning. “It makes perfect sense though. He knew we were both mages, he knew about Justice and he knew exactly how to get you to agree. Only the Maker knows where he was hiding or what he was doing.”

“Probably committing indiscreet acts in a closet,” Fenris snorted. “Have you found the third?”

“No,” said Hawke shaking his head. “We’re focusing on finding a way to separate them. Varric does have his people asking questions though. I should get going. The sooner we find something the better.”

“We’ll be all right,” said Fenris confidently.

Hawke rubbed his shoulder briefly and stood. “I’ll probably stop by sometime tomorrow.”

Fenris nodded and Anders waved before he turned towards the door, calling to Dozer. He was reluctant but the big dog followed him out. Anders sighed heavily and wrapped his arms back around his knees, burying his face as well. The bed dipped next to him and he felt Fenris’ arm around his shoulders. It felt a little more awkward but Anders leaned into him anyway, gladly accepting the comfort Fenris offered.


	17. Chapter 17

For the next week Anders didn’t leave that room. Fenris only left for a few minutes at a time for food and various housekeeping tasks. It was easy to keep Justice calm. A few minutes of cuddling with his markings activated lasted a few hours. It was Anders that kept him close and watchful.

Sometimes Anders was fairly normal and he’d pace and complain about what he should be doing. Other times he’d be sitting on his bed staring at nothing, the cravings so bad he could think of nothing else. Since Fenris was able to keep Justice controlled Hawke had taken all the lyrium Anders had in his pack. He’d never tried to leave in this state to find some but it worried Fenris that he might get desperate enough to.

Fenris stayed near and tried to distract him as much as he could. He asked questions and talked when it wasn’t very bad. Sometimes he encouraged Anders to walk around the room with him. On one occasion Fenris had started an incredible argument when Anders didn’t react to any other method. His worst cravings usually happened at night. Fenris had spent many hours just holding him quietly until they passed.

Spending so much time awake in the middle of the night meant they often woke later than usual. Last night had been his worst episode yet. The sun had been just edging over the horizon when Anders had finally fallen asleep. Fenris remained sitting for a few minutes, Anders head heavy on his shoulder, before lowering him to the bed. Anders whimpered but remained asleep. Fenris murmured soothing nonsense to him and ran his fingers through his hair. He drifted off as soon as the mage settled.

A knock on the door woke him later in the day. The sun glared down on him from the hole in the roof and he squinted against the bright light. He rose up on an elbow as the door opened. Anders groaned softly and rolled over. Fenris held up his hand in a wait gesture to Hawke and watched Anders. His eyes opened briefly but he settled again quickly.

Fenris leaned over and gave him a careful and awkward hug, letting their bare skin touch as much as possible. His markings flared to life and he stayed that way for a minute or so before creeping out of the bed. Hawke was still standing in the doorway and Fenris shuffled over yawning as he went. Every other time Hawke had visited he’d brought Dozer with him. The dog was missing this time and Hawke silently watched him approach with an odd expression.

“Is something wrong?” Fenris asked quietly.

“No,” said Hawke with a sudden cheerful smile. “I have good news actually. We’ll be ready in a couple of days.”

“Good,” Fenris sighed in relief. He knew Anders wouldn’t be completely cured but the reason he was staying with him would be gone.

“Varric and Isabela are certain they know who’s been stealing Anders’ clothes too,” Hawke said his smile faltering.

“Are you sure there’s nothing wrong?” Fenris asked frowning. “You seem… troubled by something.”

“I just… didn’t realize that you two had grown so close,” Hawke sighed.

“Close?” said Fenris in confusion.

Hawke smiled sadly and stepped backwards towards the stairs. “At least something good came from this mess. I’ll be back when we’re ready.”

He turned abruptly and took the stairs two at a time. Fenris watched him walk quickly for the entrance wanting to call him back to explain but not wanting to wake Anders more. Hawke’s puzzling behavior would have to wait however. Fenris couldn’t turn Anders over to him until the demon was gone. He closed the door and shuffled back to bed, crawling under the blanket where he’d been. Fenris slung an arm casually over his side and Anders scooted closer to him, still asleep.

Later in the afternoon when they woke Fenris wasn’t worried about Hawke or his strange conversation. Hawke had fled his mind completely. Anders was feverish and shivering violently even though he was covered in sweat. He couldn’t keep down any solid food and barely kept down the water Fenris coaxed him to drink. For the next two days Fenris hardly left his side. Anders did little but sleep fitfully and shudder. Fenris had to help him drink, support him while he emptied his bladder and kept a cool washcloth on his forehead to keep the fever down.

When Hawke knocked on his door early the third morning Fenris had never been happier to see a mage. After a healing spell that did little to actually help Fenris dressed quickly while Hawke aided Anders into a shirt and his boots. They supported him to Hawke’s estate, the sun still close to the horizon, and carefully deposited him in one of the downstairs guest rooms.

There were seven people arranged around the bed, Merrill and her Keeper among them. A few of the others he recognized as apostates that Hawke had assisted at some point and he suspected the others were mages as well. When Anders was settled Fenris backed out of the room with assurances from Hawke that Anders would be fine. Too exhausted to figure out why Hawke thought he needed extra reassurance he stumbled to the study and dropped into one of the chairs, asleep in moments. The room was dark when he woke, groggy and still tired. Varric stood over him grinning.

“Finally,” he said. “I was starting to think you might need some help.”

“I’m fine,” Fenris said irritably. “Are they finished?”

“Anders is fine,” Varric said soothingly. “Still sick but recovering. Hawke said Justice is back where he belongs and that means you’re free to help.”

“With what?” Fenris stood and stretched, trying to shake off the sleepiness.

“Put down the final piece of this nightmare,” said Varric seriously. “Hawke told you about the papers we found?”

“He did.”

“It took some work but we found the eye witness. He just happens to be the person with sticky fingers too. Shall we pay him a visit?”

“Gladly,” Fenris growled now fully awake.

“Rivaini and Junior are waiting for us at the Hanged Man,” said Varric gesturing at the door.

Fenris grabbed his sword and walked briskly out of the study, Varric on his heels.

*

Anders could hear snuffling. There was a brief whine and a blast of hot breath on his ear. He opened his eyes and slowly turned his head. Dozer barked and licked his muzzle as his front paws appeared on the bed.

“Lick me and I swear I’ll set your tail on fire,” Anders said wearily pushing his head away.

“He’s hardly moved since I let him in,” Hawke said from the other side of the bed. “How do you feel?”

“Like I’ve been used as a dragon’s chew toy,” said Anders closing his eyes. A heavy weight settled on his chest and he heard another whine followed quickly by a chuckle from Hawke. He sighed and patted Dozer’s head. “I’m fine you big lunk.” Hawke chuckled again and Anders aimed a weak glare at him. “I blame you for this you know. You were the one who insisted on bringing him over all the time.”

“I think Dozer might be able to help you in the days to come,” Hawke said gently. “He’s missed Fenris just as much as he’s missed you.”

Anders sighed and scratched at Dozer’s ears, trying to ignore the missing piece inside. “He can stay when I’m positive he’ll keep his junk to himself.”

“He just needs more time and some love,” said Hawke standing. “Think you can handle some food now?”

“Yes,” Anders said pushing Dozer away so he could sit up. “Come here before you go.”

Hawke sat on the edge of the bed and took a breath to speak. Before he could Anders pulled him close with a hand on the back of his neck and pressed their lips together in a chaste kiss. Hawke’s eyebrows shot to his hairline and his eyes went wide in surprise.

“What was that for?” he asked softly.

“I’m not a very good damsel in a dress,” Anders said smirking. “But doesn’t the hero always get a kiss from his lady fair after he’s saved her?”

“What about Fenris?” Hawke asked looking more confused.

“He’ll get one too,” said Anders leaning against the headboard. “I don’t even want to think about what I’d be doing now if either of you hadn’t decided I was worth helping.”

“There was never any doubt about that Anders,” Hawke said finally smiling. “I’ll be right back. Come on Dozer.”

Anders watched Hawke leave with Dozer right behind him. He closed his eyes and shivered, hoping the worst was behind him and trying to ignore the want he still felt.


	18. Chapter 18

Fenris followed Varric and Isabela through Lowtown. The area wasn’t familiar to him but both rogues seemed to know where they were going. Carver was not wearing his Templar armor and he looked as grim as he felt. The few people still out late watched them pass, some with suspicion and others who walked faster in the opposite direction.

He was eager to have this done. Anders would likely need more care but when he was ready to go back to his clinic there would be no danger from this group. There would always be danger for Anders and Hawke however. After this Fenris knew he would be more watchful for those dangers as well as watching for the dangers mages presented. He better understood the struggle Carver went through daily, his desire to balance his brother’s safety and the dangers he presented to everyone else. It was a struggle he now shared.

The streets grew darker and narrowed into alleys. Crates of rubbish were strewn about haphazardly. Fenris lit his markings wishing they had one of Anders’ little balls of light. Varric waved him forward and he switched places with Isabela.

“There should be a door around here,” Varric said quietly scanning the walls of the buildings. “Ah. Here it is.”

The doorway was recessed into the wall with stacks of crates to one side. Varric cautiously stepped back when they saw the door was cracked open slightly. Fenris drew his sword and looked over his shoulder. His companions all had weapons at hand. He pushed the door all the way open and warily stepped inside. The large room was mostly empty. A fire guttered in a hearth at the back of the room where the only furniture was clustered. Fenris headed straight for the bed he could just make out.

As he grew closer he straightened and sheathed his sword. The man lying on the bed was clearly no threat. His legs hung over one side and his arms were trapped underneath his body but it was the unnatural angle of his head and neck that told him this man was already dead. Varric whistled through his teeth as they gathered around.

“I don’t think he’s going to be stealing anymore,” Carver said. “This is the right guy?”

“Yeah, this is the right guy,” Varric said stepping a little closer. “Check out his nose. Can’t miss that beak.”

He bore a passing resemblance to Red but his nose was nearly identical. “A sibling?” Fenris asked.

“Older brother,” said Varric. “He was trying to break into the donation box when we interrupted him in the Chantry that night.”

“You think he finally stole from the wrong people?” Isabela asked. “There should be something in this warehouse but it looks completely empty.”

“I’d say he crossed the Coterie,” Varric replied. “We should probably make ourselves scarce before they think we’re his accomplices.”

They left quickly and retraced their steps back through Lowtown to the Hanged Man. Isabela and Varric retired for the night and Fenris continued on to Hightown with Carver. The young man was quiet and walked with Fenris all the way back to Hawke’s estate.

*

Even though it was late Anders had relocated to Hawke’s study. He sat in a chair in front of the hearth with a tray on his lap. The bowl of broth was only half finished but he had managed to finish the roll and a cup of tea. So far his stomach was accepting the food and he felt a little better. His fever had broken during the ritual but he still felt drained and weak on top of being lonely and feeling just a little lost.

He’d come to Kirkwall to free Karl and had stayed partly for Hawke and partly to try and help the mages in the Gallows. Despite being separated from Justice he still wanted to help the mages. If anything this whole experience had only strengthened that resolve. It was the real possibility of a relationship that had him watching Dozer sleep in front of the fire with his doll tucked under one paw. King was sprawled next to him and even though Hawke had left to answer the door Anders wasn’t worried.

Anders had always had strong feelings for Hawke and despite the recent upheaval that hadn’t changed. What had changed was Fenris. He was grateful for everything the elf had done but there were glimmers of interest as well. Anders had no idea if this interest was genuine or because he’d been spending an inordinate amount of time around him, cuddling and being entirely dependent on him. He wouldn’t mind finding out but there was still his desire for Hawke to consider.

The only reason he was thinking about this so soon after being separated from Justice was the craving for lyrium he could still feel. Even if it was safe he really didn’t want to be alone in his clinic with all that temptation under a thin plank of wood. It would be easy to resist when the clinic was open; he would be focused on his patients. At night when he was alone, when the want was worst, it wouldn’t be so easy. Ideally he wanted to stay with either Hawke or Fenris. He wasn’t sure who to ask or if either of them would agree.

Hawke interrupted his thoughts when he returned with Fenris and surprisingly Carver. Neither Hawke nor Carver looked very thrilled at this reunion and Fenris looked decidedly uncomfortable. The elf knelt quietly beside Dozer and began stroking his side, appearing completely uninterested but watching from under the fringe of hair that always hung in his eyes. Carver stopped in front of him and crossed his arms over his chest while Hawke leaned against the back of Anders’ chair.

“All right Carver,” said Hawke coolly. “Here we are all together.”

“Fenris asked for my help to find this Templar,” Carver said grimly looking intently at Hawke. “I helped because he threatened you and because he needed to be stopped.” He turned his intense gaze to Anders. “I helped search for a way to help you because you did it to protect my brother. Just remember magey, the information came from a Templar.”

“Thank him for me,” Anders said evenly. “And thank you for all your help.”

Carver turned an expectant look to Hawke.

“What do you want from me Carver?” Hawke said angrily. “A Templar abused his power and position to fuel his own sick desires and bloated ego and I’m supposed to be grateful that two out of how many actually thought he needed to be stopped. How many Templars raped him? How many Templars questioned their bragging and brought it to the attention of their superiors?”

“I want you to admit that there are good Templars,” Carver shot back.

“There may be good men and women among the Templars,” said Hawke coldly. “But the Order is rotten. For my own safety I can’t trust one until I _know_ they aren’t going to treat me like a toy or run me through just because I had the audacity to be born.”

Carver threw up his hands and turned to Fenris. “You see? I told you it was useless.”

Fenris sighed and stood. “You are both being stubborn asses. You stand on opposite sides and argue because that is what you’ve always done. Both of you are right and both of you are wrong.”

“There is no easy solution to this,” Anders said. “The Templars are corrupt and I have a lot of personal experience to prove it. Fenris has suffered just as much as I have at the hands of a mage. If he can learn to accept that not all mages are power hungry Magisters than we can learn to accept that not all Templars are evil sadistic bastards. Don’t hate us for being cautious though.”

Anders couldn’t help but chuckle at their flabbergasted expressions and he shared an amused look with Fenris.

“The extremists are preaching tolerance,” Hawke said in amazement.

“Cautious tolerance,” Anders said seriously. “I still hate Templars on principle but maybe I can give a few the benefit of the doubt.”

“Do not lower your guard,” Fenris added. “But judge them on individual actions instead of the actions of others.”

Hawke ran a hand through his hair. After a moment he nodded and stepped forward, arm extended towards his brother. “Maybe they’re right,” he said evenly.

Carver gripped his wrist, Hawke’s fingers closing around his wrist as well, and nodded.


	19. Chapter 19

Anders carefully moved the tray to the floor after Hawke left to see Carver out. As much as he wanted to speak with him and Fenris, Anders hoped they would take a while to talk with each other. In the meantime there was something he had to tell Fenris. Luckily the elf hadn’t moved.

“Fenris,” said Anders as he stood. “I want to thank you for everything.”

“You’re welcome,” Fenris said with a small smile.

“I was going to give you a kiss,” Anders said stepping forward. “But all things considered, I thought I’d better ask first.”

“Why would you do that?” Fenris asked in confusion.

“Because you and Hawke are my heroes,” Anders said grinning.

“That makes no sense,” Fenris said frowning as he arched an eyebrow.

“I take it you’ve never read… oh,” said Anders. He ran a hand through his loose hair thinking back to the cave on the coast. “That’s why you couldn’t help search. You can’t read.”

“No,” Fenris said scowling. “Reading is not a skill that a slave is typically taught.”

“You’re so well-spoken I never thought…” Anders said sheepishly. He shook his head and smiled. “Easily fixed. I’ll teach you.”

“That… Thank you,” said Fenris his scowl slowly turning into a small smile. “I would like that.”

“Now, about that kiss…”

“I still don’t understand why you want to kiss me. Is this some southern custom I’m not aware of?”

“No. I’m just really grateful and… I… sort of like you.”

“What about Hawke?”

“I gave him a kiss earlier and he asked me the very same thing about you,” Anders said frowning. “Did I confess my undying love for Hawke to you while I was delirious?”

“Err… No,” Fenris said hesitantly. “I had assumed you would want to stay here.”

“I do want to stay with one of you,” Anders said. “I’m not… really cured. We just removed the biggest obstacle. Which has created another problem but that’s not important right now. Let’s go find Hawke and get this sorted out.”

Fenris nodded and Anders turned to leave. Anders left the study with Fenris behind him and they found Hawke entering the main hall from the foyer. He smiled and said, “Are you two off to bed?”

“And where am I sleeping?” Fenris asked in confusion.

“With Anders?” Hawke said also puzzled. “Since it’s so late I just assumed you’d stay here tonight and go home tomorrow.”

“There is no need for me to sleep with Anders,” said Fenris frowning. “It is gone.”

“Oh… oh Maker,” whispered Anders in realization. He burst out laughing and sunk to the floor.

“Anders?” said Hawke in concern.

“Not… not what you think,” he managed between gales. Anders wrapped his hands around his middle and tried to control himself.

“Did you remove part of his sense as well as the demon?” Fenris asked dryly.

“I don’t think so,” Hawke said sounding more concerned.

“He thinks we’re a couple,” Anders said looking up at Fenris after taking a deep breath. The elf’s eyes went wide and his gaze snapped to Hawke. Anders also turned to Hawke and held out a hand grinning broadly. “You really need to learn to wait a minute after you knock on a door.”

“You’re not the first person to tell me that,” Hawke said pulling him up. “So why were you sleeping together?”

“My close presence calmed the… it,” said Fenris frowning.

“Close as in skin touching,” Anders added. “It was out of necessity.”

“I’m sorry,” said Hawke embarrassedly.

“No harm done,” said Anders squeezing his shoulder. “Since we’re sort of on the subject, there’s something I wanted to ask both of you. I don’t… want to go back to my clinic. I might act like I’m fine… but I’m not. I still want it. Justice… it feels like there’s an empty spot inside me. You’ve both already done so much but… I want to spend my nights with one of you.”

“You’re always welcome here Anders,” Hawke said gently.

“I don’t mind,” Fenris said after a moment of thought. “I am… surprised… that you would want to stay with me.”

“Everything’s changed,” Anders said with a small smile. “I really like both of you.”

“Like?” said Fenris arching an eyebrow.

“Just friends like or… something more?” Hawke asked.

“Something more,” said Anders. He smirked and nudged Hawke’s shoulder with his. “I guess we both have the same problem now.”

“I’m ecstatic to hear you’re still interested,” Hawke said carefully. “I’m also ecstatic to know I actually still have a chance with both of you but… Anders, don’t you think that can wait until you’re more… stable?”

“I’m not asking for a lifetime commitment,” Anders said. “Not right now. I want something to look forward to. Keep my mind off of… everything.”

“Wait,” said Fenris holding his hands up and backing up a step. “You wish to… date both of us?”

“Why not?” Anders said with a shrug. “I like both of you, Hawke likes both of us. If you’d be willing we could see where any of it goes.”

“At the same time?” Hawke asked dubiously.

Anders smirked and held out his hand palm up. “Andraste had two husbands. Why can’t we have two boyfriends?”

“I don’t think the Chantry would agree with that logic,” Hawke said smiling as he set his hand on Anders’. “But it has appeal. Fenris?”

He looked between them then nodded slowly and placed his hand atop Hawke’s. “I make no promises. I don’t know if I want to be that involved with one mage let alone two but… I am willing to find out.”


End file.
